I'm not a massive fan of spiders, and I'm certainly not a fan of massive spiders. Too many legs and too many eyes. The small ones, like we have in the UK, move too quickly, but I would take a dozen of the fast little shits over one of those absolute monsters they have down under.
The spiders over in Australia aren't fucking about - they're big enough to use cash machines. Look at what this poor Aussie fella had to put up with... and look how calmly he handled it:
Credit: Newsflare
I suppose they're used to
them, aren't they? It's the trade-off for living in such a beautiful country,
but one Aussie pest controller ended up getting quite the shock when he
responded to a call and saw just how big the spider was.
He was called in to 'rescue' a family from the biggest spider that he, an experienced pest controller, had ever seen. And, yeah, it was fucking huge.
Gavin Shill, owner of All Year Pest Solutions, got a call from a woman living Brisbane, Australia last week. She sounded a little frantic as she told him the eight-legged nightmare was big. Properly big.
So, he made his way to the property, probably thinking to himself, 'Pfft... I've worked in pest control for 17 years, I'll be the judge of what's a massive spider, thank you very much.'
Upon arriving Gavin couldn't believe what he was seeing. I mean, look at it:
Credit: Caters
What's that? You want a closer look? Your wish is my command.
Credit: Caters
Probably best to just let the spider have the house and move out, really. It's his home now.
Gavin said: "A husband and wife were home with their two young kids when I got the urgent phone call. They called as soon as they saw it and the lady said to me, 'this one, even my husband can't deal with,' because it was just so big.
"She just wanted it gone from the house - she was quite scared of it, she wouldn't go near it, and when I saw it I didn't blame her. When she said she had found the mother of all spiders, she wasn't kidding.
"Normally a huntsman will grow to between 10 and 15cm, but this one had a legspan of 25cm and that extra five to 10cm really does make a difference. It really did make me stop in my tracks when I walked around the corner and saw it for the first time, because I wasn't expecting it to be so big. It is definitely the biggest spider I have ever seen."
Gavin trapped the spider, and freed the family by using a broom and then eventually letting it out into the couple's garden. Does it make me a bad person, if I say I would want it dead? I can't be the only one thinking that, surely?
Although, Gavin was quick to point out that the huntsman is somewhat misunderstood. He said: "Huntsmen can get so big because they keep growing until they die, so if there is enough of a food source they will keep going. But a lot of them starve to death before they get to this size because they cannot eat enough to sustain the growth.
"They are actually quite placid creatures - they are actually more scared of you than you are of them. You see them in houses more often that you'd think. People would frequently be quite close to them without realising it.
"Everyone has a different opinion of what a pest is, but some of my customers are very arachnophobic and would want a spider out of their house straight away, whatever its size. With these pictures of the huntsman, everyone has been really shocked because it's not something you see every day. Some people have been amazed, some scared, some horrified.
"But they are quite a magnificent species - I have been bitten by enough spiders to know which ones to play with and which ones to leave."
I don't think I'd stick around long enough to get to know one.
Featured Image Credit: Caters/The Simpsons/Fox