Snake Proves It's A Top Lad By Eating Three, I Repeat, Three Whole Deer
Sometimes when I'm hungry at work I'll stare out the window and think about what Manchester has to offer in terms of lunch and after a moment of quiet contemplation I'll head out into the glorious sunshine, towards Greggs. I'll buy a pasty - probably a sausage, bean and cheese, if not that then a steak bake - and with crumbs down my face and my coat on I'll think how hungry I still am, so I'll head a few doors down to Maccies and I'll order 20 chicken nuggets. I'll wait around in the ticket queue they have now like a stockbroker in 1920s America, till they call out my number. Then I'll ask for some ketchup and some curry sauce and I'll tuck into that shit. And it'll be damn good, but maybe after I've chowed-down on that final nugget I'll not quite be content. I might still be a little hungry, 'so what shall I do now?' I'll think to myself, and the decision is always the same. I'll go back and I'll order a McFlurry and after I've eaten it and as I'm heading towards the office I'll start feeling full.
I'm not talking a bit full here, I'm talking I-want-to-throw-this-shit-up-and-never-eat-again full. I'll be sat at my desk and barely able to write because I'm so stuffef. And I'll wonder to myself, why ever did I do that? What made me eat so much? Was that really necessary?
Because the thing is I've developed a bit of a belly over the last few months, but at my core I'm a skinny guy. I might drink too much and I might eat too much and my chin might be becoming two chins, but I'm not really built to eat that much really.
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Anyway, my point is that this must be exactly how a 16-foot Burmese python discovered by researchers in Florida must have felt after it ate three deer it captured in the Florida Everglades.
The killer reptile, which is actually native to South East Asia, was caught and euthanised, stretched almost 16-feet and weighed 105 pounds and would have taken 90 days to consume all three deer.
''If a python is capable of eating three deer in three months what else are they eating that we don't know about,' Dickinson College associate professor in biology Scott Boback said on Live Science.
Who knows Scott, who knows?
Featured image credit: BioInvasions
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