Pokémon Cake Challenge Produces Horrors I Can Never Unsee
So there's this show in the US called Food Network Challenge. As the name implies, it's a competitive cooking series in which professional chefs go head-to-head to create incredibly elaborate dishes, in the hopes of wowing the judges and coming away with a lovely cash prize. And a gold medal. If you've seen literally any cooking show in the last decade you'll be familiar with the rough format.
Anyway, the reason I find myself writing about Food Network Challenge today, is because a recent episode featured a special Pokémon-themed challenge! Exciting! In one segment of the show (via Kotaku), four bakers competed to create complex cakes that not only looked like replicas of actual Pokémon, but also had special features that signified each monster's unique abilities.
There's no denying, this was surely an incredibly challenging task. To create a cake that resembles a Pokémon in two hours would be difficult enough. To then build in some sort of interesting feature to signify that Pokémon's type? Talk about demanding. It should come as no surprise then, that not every baker quite nailed it.
In the first round of the challenge, the four bakers created four separate starter Pokémon. We got Chikorita, Sobble, Mudkip, and Litten. As you can see below, the Mudkip and Sobble are genuinely really damn impressive. The Sobble, in particular, looks so cute that it would be a shame to eat it. Oh, and the Mudkip could shoot water out its mouth, which is so incredibly extra in the best way.
Sadly, the other two contestants didn't fare quite as well with their own attempts. Litten, the fire-type starter from Sun/Moon,blooked less like the cute cat we all know and love, and more like a claymation nightmare with wonky limbs. However, when compared to baker Allison Stamm's take on grass starter Chikorita, Litten looks like a genuine work of art.
I've no doubt that Allison Stamm is an amazing baker. She obviously wouldn't have been on the show otherwise. That's why it pains me to say that her Chikorita is a terrifying mess. A tasty terrifying mess, I'm sure, but a terrifying mess all the same. It looks like someone took a real Chikorita, ran it over in a lorry, and then made a hastily-made papier-mâché replica based on the battered remains, in the hopes that nobody would notice.
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Alas, Allison's cake wasn't quite good enough to see her through to the next round, and she was eliminated. I mean, it's still approximately 1,000 times better than anything I could have come up with.
The good news for Allison is that when it came to the next - and final - round, everybody made a bit of a mess of things. I say everybody. Two out of the three bakers. So... the majority.
A seriously creepy-looking Pikachu and a truly monstrous giant baby Squirtle simply failed to impress the judges. Again, I've no doubt they were delicious, but they just didn't look quite right. Especially when compared to a breathtaking Bulbasaur from Sobble creator Manuel Miranda. Given the fact the Bulbasaur could actually shoot leaves, there could only really be one winner, right?
You can watch the full episode for yourself here, provided you live in the US. It's probably for the best if you live in the UK... the whole thing has just made me really quite hungry for cake. Less so for Pokémon.
Featured Image Credit: Food Network