You're Not A Real Gamer Unless You Own This RGB Toilet
If there's one thing certain gamers love to do, it's informing other people that they're not actually gamers. "You've never played through Final Fantasy VII and cried as the credits rolled for the first time? You're not a gamer. Give me your consoles and I'll take them to be incinerated."
"You've never played through Dark Souls blindfolded with batteries attached to your nipples that send electric shocks to your delicate areas every time you die? Not a gamer. Sit there while I make you eat your Nintendo Switch. Raw."
"You haven't even constructed a special cot for your GameCube and read it a bedtime story every night for a week? You can't possibly be a gamer. Give me your thumbs. You don't deserve them."
Ridiculous examples, all, but you see my point. Telling someone they're not a gamer because they haven't experienced something in the same way as you is pretty dumb. With that said, I think I can say with some confidence that you're 100 percent not a gamer if you don't own your very own RGB toilet bowl night light. Drink it in below.
The "Rechargeable Toilet Bowl Night Light, 16 Colors Motion Sensor Detection LED Lights, Funny & Unique Birthday Gifts Idea for Dad, Men, Kids - Cool Fun Gadget, Best Gag Stocking Stuffers" - yes that's its full name - was first spotted by PC Gamer on Black Friday. (Or, y'know, last Friday, November 29th, to those of us not wholly consumed by rampant consumerism at this time of year.)
But now that I've seen it? Well, I can't think of anything more suitable for a serious gamer. I'm not sure how you'd ever dare call yourself a hardcore player of video games if you didn't have a glow in the dark toilet bowl at home that matched your keyboard and mouse.
Unfortunately, as the name of the product makes clear, the RGB toilet light is only for dad, men, and kids. I assume that means women over the age of 12 aren't allowed to get involved with this particular stocking stuffer. Hey, I don't make the rules - sorry girls. Maybe Santa will bring you a shiny toilet light next year, if you're lucky... and society has decided that it's something people of all ages and genders needs.
As far as I can see, there's no way to get this particular brand of RGB toilet light delivered to the UK. The good news is that other brands are available, and you could track down your very own slice of sci-fi toilet fun here in Blighty, if you really wanted. Just remember: you're not a real gamer if you don't.
Featured Image Credit: Chunace/Corsair