| Last updated
With the world seemingly going to sh*t every day, there's one man who can spark a spot of savage humour back into it. That man is Ricky Gervais.
Many things annoy Ricky. With his honesty challenging topics such as war and religion, he's now tackling humanity head-first. And the public's everyday habits are a huge ball-ache for him.
Take your classic annoyances; like picking your nose and eating it, biting your nails off, or scratching the dead skin off your feet on a busy bus. Not pleasant for anyone, right.
But what's Ricky's biggest pet hate? The singular habit that really makes him tick? Turns out noises are, and the sound of phlegming tops his list:
"Nothing competes with this. I was in a restaurant in America and the waiter did this [phlegm noise]. F*cking hell. And even when he went away I could still hear him, so every time he went [phlegm noise] I went c*nt"
Ricky went on to say the noise would be more distracting than an atomic bomb dropping outside. Anything that warrants the c-word is infuriating, so we're in total agreement here, Rick.
Another peeve that the world famous stand-up comedian loathes is keyboard typing. As he rants: "I was on a plane once and this woman was typing. That annoyed me. It's her rite. But she had bangles, so I was like 'f*cking hell, has the circus come to f*cking town?'"
Ricky (this time at least) restrained himself from passing on a explicit comment. Which was probably best, seeing as a mid-flight showdown at 3,000 feet above sea level would've had serious repercussions - all in the name of a lady removing her wrist bangles as she used her laptop.
He always prepares for annoying noises though: "I always carry my iPod, sometimes earplugs, just in case someone is annoying me"
Ricky Gervais' Humanity stand-up special is available to watch now on Netflix UK.
Topics: Ricky Gervais
Chosen for YouChosen for You
Most Read StoriesMost Read