Woman explains why ancient Greek statues have really tiny penises

We might not always openly admit it, but there have been times when we’ve wandered around a museum or gallery having to squint while we question why the fellas are packing on the smaller side.

Sure, size doesn’t always matter, but we’re used to the culture that says big is best.

And answering all our small penis queries, a woman’s explanation of why ancient Greek statues are not exactly well-endowed has gone viral. Check it out here:

Ruby Reign found herself scratching her head after noticing the disproportionately small kn**s on the historic statues, so she took it upon herself to look into the matter – obviously.

"Have you ever wondered why so many of the ancient Greek statues have colossal muscular physiques and yet a tiny package?" she asked in a video shared on TikTok.

"Well, I have, so I did some digging."

While nowadays our attitude towards pretty much anything - especially penises - seems to be, the bigger the better, Ruby's research indicated that this hasn't always been the way.

She continued: "What I wasn't aware of was that the Greeks often presented their enemies, the Egyptians, the satyr creatures, and even fools in comedies as having large appendages - so it was quite a negative thing to have, which is quite different today.

"So actually, what I discovered was that big D's bad and small D's good in ancient Greece. But why was this? This is obviously different to today."

By this point, you're probably totally desperate to know why the heroes of ancient Greece were immortalised with little peckers.

Well, Ruby claimed it is all to do with how perceptions have changed.

TikTok/@rubysaysstuff

She explained: "Turns out that in ancient Greece, having a smaller package was considered a sign of virtue, of civility, or self control or discipline.

"Meanwhile, having a bigger one was a sign of lustfulness, of gluttonous appetites and barbarism, which is quite interesting because it's different to today."

Together, Ruby's clips have racked millions of views, with many people in the small willy community delighted by the lecture.

One person commented: "Remember lads we were on top, now the Barbarians have taken over."

Another said: "We definitely gotta return to our roots."

A third added: "I was really born in the wrong generation."

Ruby concluded that our changing perception of size illuminates the fact there is no such thing as objective beauty.

She said: "I just think it's interesting to compare the perspective back then that smaller is better with the view today that, sometimes people think bigger is better.

"And it just goes to show that our beauty standards, our ideals, are all a social construct and we shouldn't get bogged down feeling bad about ourselves."

Topics: History, Viral, Weird, TikTok

Jess Battison

Jess is an Entertainment Journalist with a love of all things pop culture. Her main interests include keeping up with the Twitter girlies, waiting for a new series of The Traitors and losing her voice at a Beyoncé concert. She graduated with a first in Journalism from City, University of London in 2021 and has previously worked at MyLondon.

@jessbattison_