Piers Morgan 'Throws Up' As He Tries Greggs' Vegan Sausage Roll
Sometimes a day goes by when we don't hear from Piers Morgan; a day when he doesn't cause any controversy and he doesn't offend anyone. Today was not one of those days.
And you knew things were going to go well when, before even trying one of the rolls, the outspoken host screeched: "They stink!"
Here we go.
Piers then placed a chunk of the animal-free alternative in his mouth, spluttering: "Ugh, God... God," before picking up a fortunately-placed bucket from underneath his desk, and 'throwing up'.
In full flight by this point, Piers went off on one of his famed rants, saying: "Why would anyone eat this? There are not three and a half million vegans in this country - think about it, when did you last see one?
"They all went down to Greggs to buy their vegan sausage roll."
Describing veganism as a 'fad', he went on to lay into the snacks, saying: "They're tasteless, they don't taste anywhere near as good as the real thing."
Co-presenter and general voice of reason Susanna Reid didn't quite agree, saying: "They're delicious, they're delicious actually. They've got nice crisp pastry, the vegetarian sausage is nicely flavoured."
Sadly however, her partner in crime wasn't done yet. Not even close.
In response to the 'vegan craze', he then unveiled a mocked-up butcher's stall, labelled 'Morgan's Meats'. That name generates an image no one needs to have rattling around in their head.
The presenter said: "This is 'Morgan's Meat Parlour'. What we have is some bacon, some mince... all of this is produced by Great British farmers, right, people that I want to protect from this scourge that is engulfing our country.
"This is meat produced in this country, a country which was until recently one of meat eaters, people who were proud and happy to eat meat. This is available today to be cooked and eaten."
And if you weren't convinced by his portable butchers, Piers went on to assure us all that meat is the best thing for us.
He added: "And guess what? I won't die, this is good for you, meat's good for you. How do you think humans got here? They ate meat."
This isn't the first time Piers has taken aim at Greggs. Last week he became embroiled in a Twitter spat with the company after they announced their new vegan sausage rolls.
The bakery launched the ethical alternative earlier this month, with branches selling out of the little bleeders (NB nothing capable of bleeding went into these sausage rolls) within a matter of hours. People couldn't get enough.
Unsurprisingly however, Piers wasn't so impressed, and as he's known to do from time to time, vented his frustration on social media, in a totally even-handed and calm manner, of course.
He wrote: "Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns."
However, the press office at Greggs was clearly ready and waiting for GMB's presenter, quickly responding with: "Oh hello Piers, we've been expecting you."
McDonald's and Pizza Hut even jumped to the bakery's defence.
Maccies posted: "Like our pals at the sausage roll place, we've been expecting you. Don't worry Piers, you can still get McNuggets in your Happy Meal!"
While Pizza Hut tweeted: "Here's a picture of our new vegan Pizza. Everyone tag Piers Morgan in it to ruin his day. Feel free to join in, @GreggsOfficial."
Featured Image Credit: Good Morning Britain/ITV