When this lad decided to put his yellow Nissan Micra up on eBay, he decided to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
It's a bit shit.
That's the message I took away after reading his 1,000-word essay on how crap it really is, anyway.
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The bright yellow, 17-year-old Nissan Micra 1.0 seems to have really pissed him off over the years, as he couldn't really say one thing nice about it - except that it's quite good with fuel. Hmm... bet it's chuffed.
According to The Sun, the unnamed seller of the car thought he'd managed to sell the car but it turned out that a hamster had walked across someone's phone and pressed 'buy it now'. I'm sorry, but that's a load of bullshit. I don't believe that for one fucking second.
Anyway, here's the rant: "I could tell you that this car is absolutely fantastic, a pleasure to drive, has all mod cons.....But I'd be lying my little head off!!!
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"To my surprise, and amazement if I'm honest, the little bag of death has got me to work and back every morning with no problems whatsoever.
"What I can tell you, is it's one of the yellowest cars in existence, and it's slow, but it is good on fuel. It doesn't have central locking, but the car is that small it's not far to reach across and unlock the passenger door from the driver's seat, so that's a bonus.
"There is also this weird slot in the middle of the radio. I originally thought it was to slide your phone into but it turns out it's for something called a tape?
"From what I can work out these were around in the early 1700s so if you buy this car, you're actually buying a piece of history.
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"The car is yellow, it's basic, it's quite nasty to be fair, there is rust on the driver's wing, lacquer peel on the spoiler, but it's only done a genuine 67,000 miles and seems to be reliable and drives really well."
Credit: eBay via The Sun
"If you want a little run around, buy this car, if you want something flash, then don't, if you have any shame at all, then don't.
"The car is not available on finance, its 300 pounds sterling for god's sake, just turn up, look impressed, pay me the money in cash and drive away into an unknown certainty of driving pleasure before telling your friends about the amazing bargain you got on eBay and how good it is on fuel.
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"If you're too embarrassed to drive this car through fear of losing your street cred, don't let that little problem enter your head.
"You're reading this advert for a Micra, which means you were looking for a Micra, which means you have no street cred to lose.
"Car is sold as seen so make sure you bring your glasses."
To be fair, that's fucking genius. Plus, I can't find the listing on eBay anymore so fingers crossed he's sold it.
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Well done, that man.
Words by Mel Ramsay
Featured image credit: eBay via The Sun
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