Psychologist shares red flags that someone is actually a narcissist

A psychologist has shared the red flags for spotting if someone is actually a narcissist.

But before we dig into that, let’s clear up what a narcissistic person even is before you start accusing your partner of being one.

The Mayo Clinic defines narcissistic personality disorder as a mental health condition where people ‘have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance’.

It adds: “They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.”

However, underneath the ‘mask of extreme confidence they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism’.

So with these traits, it can lead to some relatively unhealthy relationship dynamics both with those close to you as well as in dating.

Now, in case you’re concerned someone you know is in fact a narcissist, clinical psychologist Dr Ramani Durvasula has revealed how to truly identify them.

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The expert appeared on the Today show in the US earlier this week to explain the red flags of narcissism.

Early on, she says you should be able to spot that the person makes every conversation about them and has a ‘low threshold for frustration’.

She reckons the flags tend to crop up once you’re past the ‘charm, the charisma and the confidence’ of the start of a relationship.

Dr Durvasula said: “As soon as things start going wrong - even if it is a little thing like they're not put to the front of the line in the restaurant, or they don't get the table they want - you'll start seeing this kind of anger coming out.”

And this frustration will most likely be directed at the server, the person with ‘less power’.

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The psychologist continued: “You'll also see that they will become really prickly if you give them any feedback.

“[They] snap and you think ‘where is the charming, charismatic person?’”

And the expert added that the most extreme narcissists have ‘rigid’ personalities.

She said: “They lack self-awareness. They lack the capacity to self-reflect - ‘how am I affecting other people’ - because there is not a lot of empathy.”

Dr Durvasula advises that the best way of dealing with narcissists is to set boundaries for yourself and write a list of every disrespectful thing you’ve experienced from them as a reminder as to why you’re cutting them off.

The Mayo Clinic recommends that if you recognise aspects of yourself that are common to this personality disorder, then consider reaching out to a health care or mental health provider.

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Mental Health

Jess Battison

Jess is an Entertainment Journalist with a love of all things pop culture. Her main interests include keeping up with the Twitter girlies, waiting for a new series of The Traitors and losing her voice at a Beyoncé concert. She graduated with a first in Journalism from City, University of London in 2021 and has previously worked at MyLondon.

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