Relationship counsellor explains signs to be aware of that may suggest you are in a 'papercut relationship'

Ok gang, time to learn a new relationship term.

People get up to all sorts in their relationships and our language can barely keep up with it all.

There's the 'future faking' bunch who make you think they're gonna commit and you'd be great together.

Then there's the '7-7-7 method' crew who believe that having a relationship that works requires a good bit of scheduling.

This time around, we'll be learning about the 'papercut relationship' and how you might be able to spot the signs of it.

It may have been a little comment but it hurts a lot. (Maria Korneeva/Getty Images)

What is a 'papercut relationship'?

You know how a papercut is just a tiny little wound but it can still really hurt?

Ok, well a 'papercut relationship' is one where one little comment or jibe can really sting you or get to you. It may not seem like a big thing in the moment but you can really feel it.

In the end, those little cuts add up to one big measure of pain, which can bring an end to a relationship.

By themselves, each cut is nowhere near enough to end a relationship but they can accumulate or the hurt can stick in your mind and leave you wondering why the cut happened at all.

"But WHY did he have to say that?" (Peter Cade/Getty Images)

How do you spot the signs?

Relationship counsellor Georgina Sturmer told Grazia that these cuts 'might appear innocuous to an observer' and meant that friends and family may miss them altogether.

She added that you might not even fully understand what's happened yet, and only come to comprehend the moment after you've had some time to think.

First things first, you need to be able to 'look back at what's happened' and have a good old think about what was actually said and done, the more you think about that comment that's been bugging you the more you might understand about it.

Sturmer also suggested keeping a record of these 'papercuts' so you can better spot a potential pattern of behaviour.

"You say it's just a throwaway comment but you keep making digs like this at my expense." (Getty Stock Photo)

The signs of a 'papercut relationship'

"We might feel unappreciated, irritated or angry but we might feel embarrassed or guilty," she said of how you might spot a papercut moment.

She explained that little digs or getting annoyed at something is pretty normal in a relationship, but when it was consistent, personal and deliberate that was the major red flag.

This is why keeping a record is so useful, to work out whether this is a consistent thing or not.

It's also why giving yourself time to think about what was said is vital, as then you can really mull over whether what was said to you was personal or deliberately harmful on your partner's part.

The relationship expert said that if the comments seemed 'unkind, unreasonable, cruel or manipulative' that would be a big sign.

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends

Joe Harker

Joe graduated from the University of Salford with a degree in Journalism and worked for Reach before joining the LADbible Group. When not writing he enjoys the nerdier things in life like painting wargaming miniatures and chatting with other nerds on the internet. He's also spent a few years coaching fencing. Contact him via [email protected]

@MrJoeHarker