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Expert reveals how 7-7-7 method could actually be key to happy relationships

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Published 10:49 6 Apr 2024 GMT+1

Expert reveals how 7-7-7 method could actually be key to happy relationships

Also referred to as the 1-1-1-1 method, the hack could save your relationship

Olivia Burke

Olivia Burke

It can be easy to let the little things slide in long-term relationships.

Between balancing work, a social life and visiting family, it can be hard to keep up with the stuff - date nights, small tokens of appreciation - which keeps your relationship alive.

But have you ever thought about incorporating some kind of timetable into your relationship to make sure it stays on the right track?

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Because according to dating experts, it could be the key to success in the world of romance.

UKCP psychotherapist Mark Vahrmeyer reminded people that keeping the spark alive 'requires work and a commitment to spend connected time together' in an interview with Stylist.

The co-founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy explained: "Research would suggest that couples who laugh, cry, dance and can be still tough and supportive, fare well over the long-term.

"A couple who make time (at least 45 minutes to an hour per week) to connect – which means to talk and to listen to each other – are essentially maintaining the bond with each other."

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But how can you make sure you keep this up throughout the entirety of your relationship?

Well, that's where the 7-7-7 method comes in.

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What is the 7-7-7 method?

This new dating trend - also dubbed the 1-1-1-1 method - challenges couples to make sure they make time for each other.

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It is essentially a quality time schedule, which means that every seven days you should have a date night, every seven weeks you should book a night away and every seven months you should head off on a romantic holiday.

If you look at it as the 1-1-1-1 method, it means a week's holiday without children every year, one date night per week with no children, each partner to initiate sexual intimacy once a week, and 30 minutes quality time with no screens every evening.

Simple enough, right? But does it actually work?

Do experts recommend the 7-7-7 method?

Trauma, relationships, and psychosexual therapist Cate Campbell said: "I’m not wild about all the affirmations and manifestations that go with traditional 7-7-7, but I do approve of planning couples activities.

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"Many couples think scheduling spoils spontaneity, but most don’t have time or energy to organise last-minute couple time, including sex, so I would always advocate ways to carve out time together."

Jessica Alderson, co-founder and relationship expert at dating app SoSynced added: "Setting time aside to invest in your relationship and prioritise your partner can help keep the spark alive and maintain a strong connection."

Getty stock images

However, she does appreciate that the 7-7-7 method isn't the most economical or easy plan of action to save your relationship - as forking out for meals, mini-breaks and trips all adds up, while finding free time is also a struggle.

Alderson continued: "Strict time frames may not work for everyone. There are broader considerations, such as financial and personal commitments, that play an essential role in figuring out what works for a couple.

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"Ultimately, the key is finding a balance that works for you as a couple and allows you to properly invest in your relationship."

To avoid wasting all your savings and bending over backwards to squeeze in a quick coffee date, you could always make the 7-7-7 method your own and alter it to make sure it works for you and your partner.

Have date nights at home, head out on day trips instead of extravagant breaks or simply reconnect with each other with intimate conversations and affection.

"The 7-7-7 method will only work if a couple use it to genuinely be curious about each other, listen to each other and connect - as well as have fun," Vahrmeyer added.

Featured Image Credit: Getty stock images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends, Travel

Olivia Burke
Olivia Burke

Olivia is a journalist at LADbible Group with more than five years of experience and has worked for a number of top publishers, including News UK. She also enjoys writing food reviews (as well as the eating part). She is a stereotypical reality TV addict, but still finds time for a serious documentary.

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@livburke_

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