Doctors have come up with the sizes you need to know if you're a 'grower' or a 'shower'

A new study into penis size and what it means has drawn out the boundaries which dictate whether you're a 'grower' or a 'shower'.

For the uninitiated in genital terminology, a 'grower' is someone with a penis which may not seem all that large initially, but when erect rises to the occasion and grows to impressive proportions.

Meanwhile, a 'shower' is someone with a penis that does not engorge all that much with an erection, meaning that even when flaccid they still have it all pretty much on display.

While the shower would initially appear to be the more impressive the grower has the ability to come from behind and make up the distance.

Men may identify as either but now experts have weighed in on this most important of issues to clearly draw the boundaries of what constitutes a grower and a shower in the philosophical pondering of phallic proportions.

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In a study presented yesterday (12 March) to the European Association of Urology Congress in Milan, doctors explained that they have reached a conclusion on what's a grower and who is a shower.

The study's lead author, Dr Manuel Alonso-Isa, explained that this study wasn't just a d**k measuring contest and would have a medical application as being a shower 'might mean they need a different surgical approach compared to someone who doesn’t grow much'.

Doctors ruled that if a man's penis increases in size by 56 percent or more when erect then that man is officially a 'grower', but only 24 percent of guys are in this category.

Meanwhile, if your hard-on doesn't increase penis proportions by at least 31 percent then you're a shower regardless of how large your trouser snake actually is.

There are only 25 percent of showers in the world, so most men actually fall into neither category.

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It turns out that 51 percent of blokes instead fall into the 'gray zone' where their erect penis grows too much to be a shower but not enough to end up getting classed as a grower.

Meanwhile, penis length can also be a bit of an indicator of whether someone is more likely to be a grower or a shower.

Showers had an average penis length of 11.3cm (4.44 inches) when flaccid, compared to growers having a flaccid length 8.8cm (3.46 inches).

The average penis length has grown by 24 percent in the past few decades, while the people with the largest penises in the world live in Ecuador.

Aren't you just so glad you know all of this?