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Topics: Dating trends, Sex and Relationships
Joe Harker
Dating experts are warning you over a new trend called 'floodlighting', which maybe isn't that new of a trend but has been slapped with a fancy new name.
Dating can be a tricky world to navigate and it seems like there's new trends and terms to get our heads round every week.
Anyway, you're probably wondering what on earth this 'floodlighting' malarkey even is and thankfully for your sense of curiosity you're about to find out.
Dating expert Jessica Alderson told Glamour: "Floodlighting in dating is about using vulnerability as a high-intensity spotlight.
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"It involves sharing a lot of personal details all at once - to test the waters, speed up intimacy, or see if the other person can ‘handle’ these parts of you."
Jessica's sister Louella said there was 'a fine line between sharing personal details and 'floodlighting'.'
Meanwhile, over here at LADbible Towers some among our number observed that 'floodlighting' sounds a bit like 'trauma dumping on the first date'.
In short, it sounds like it's a case of someone getting very personal very quickly with the person they're dating.
Of course while you're dating you'll have to share some parts of yourself but there's a degree of difference between opening up to another person and putting someone in the spotlight as you throw all your personal details at them and see how they'll respond.
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Jessica explained that 'floodlighting' could create a false sense of intimacy where you and your date haven't really taken the time to get to know each other but you've already shared some of your deepest thoughts and feelings with them.
She also warned people who might be doing this without realising it that they were leaving themselves open to exploitation as you could end up being taken advantage of by someone who you really don't know all that well.
The expert also said it could lead to an imbalanced relationship where one of you ends up becoming an 'emotional caretaker' for the other who keeps sharing their feelings in great depth.
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Jessica suggested that when people are 'floodlighting' it comes from their insecurities where a person will show themselves at their most vulnerable so that the other person is faced with a choice to accept or reject you.
She said this was a way of 'pre-empting rejection' with a potential partner, and could also create a false closeness that a relationship afterwards can't sustain.
After all, if they've already told you their deepest, darkest secrets on the first date where do you go from there?