Graysexual person explains what sex was like for him before realising sexuality as more people come out
A man who identifies as graysexual has revealed what it was like for him to experience sexual intercourse before understanding his sexuality.
Sexuality, like most things, is a spectrum. Unlike previous generations where people were assumed to either be into sex or not, we've now come to realise
there is no 'one size fits all' when it comes to experiencing desire and attraction.
Asexuality - where a person little or no sexual interest in others - is one of the more well known terms, while identities such as 'demisexual' and 'aromantic' also cropping up over the years.
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More recently, gender specialist Mark Cusack opened up about his experience being graysexual, which also falls under the asexual spectrum.
What is graysexuality?
Unlike asexuality, a graysexual person experiences limited amount of sexual attraction.
An explainer from WebMD puts graysexuality somewhere between asexual and allosexual, which describes a person who experiences sexual attraction to others and encompasses identities such homosexual, heterosexual and bisexual.
Individuals who identify as graysexual may also view sexual intercourse as 'unimportant' as well as show affection towards partners through non-sexual methods, such as cuddling and talking.
Asexuality and graysexuality are also unrelated to a person's libido, as the latter group still experience attraction to others, even if there desire for sex is currently low.
According to a subreddit dedicated to graysexuality, they also identify as 'gray-a' or 'gray-ace'.
What is it like for a graysexual person to have sex?
So, what does graysexuality look like in the day to day – and what is it like to have intercourse as a person who identifies as such?
According to Buddy - a graysexual man who spoke to Vice last year - he has 'always' felt desire and attraction towards others, however, it isn't sexual.
"I have had sex quite a bit, though, because I developed the mentality that if you don’t sleep with people, they won’t like or love you," he explained.
"So if I wanted to have relationships, I had to bite the bullet and go through the motions, whether or not I enjoyed sex, to make sure my partners were happy."
Buddy then went on to explain that he's not 'fully averse to sex' and will try and enjoy it through seeing a partner experience pleasure.
"I actually assumed sex was eh for everyone, though people seemed to enjoy it more than I did," he added.
Buddy's experience with sex isn't unique either, with one woman interviewed about her asexuality telling Zoella: "I understand that sex may be a need for my partner, so as long as they respect my boundaries when I do not want to, I’m absolutely fine with it."
Topics: LGBTQ, Sex and Relationships, Reddit
Brenna Cooper