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How ‘Rebecca Syndrome’ can impact your relationship as more than half of people suffer from recent dating trend

How ‘Rebecca Syndrome’ can impact your relationship as more than half of people suffer from recent dating trend

Expert Kate Balestrieri said 'it may be how somebody compensates for abandonment fears.'

There is a new dating trend that’s taking over the scene and it could mean dire results for your relationship.

Rebecca Syndrome’ is something that over half of people have admitted to taking part in and it’s not a minor issue.

Kate Balestrieri, PhD, a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, and founder of Modern Intimacy, opened up on ‘Rebecca ‘Syndrome’ which is also known as ‘Retroactive Jealousy’ and just how dangerous it can be for your relationships.

In 2017, 1,000 people from Europe and America participated in a study by Superdrug which showed how often people stalk either their exes or crushes on social media.

The survey found that 56.5 percent of single Americans admitted to looking over their ex’s profile, with most admitting to have done it once a month or less.

Married people then came in at 65.8 percent and 66.7 of those in relationships looked up their ex online from time to time.

Let’s get into what it’s all about and why it’s so bad for your relationship.

Over one half of people admit to stalking exes. (Getty Stock Images)
Over one half of people admit to stalking exes. (Getty Stock Images)

What is ‘Rebecca Syndrome'?

Rebecca Syndrome, otherwise referred to as retroactive jealousy (RJ), when someone is overly interested (or obsessed) and jealous of a partner’s past relationships.

Balestrieri explained that it is when a person experiences retroactive jealousy, they may feel threatened by their partner's past romantic or sexual history, and it doesn’t matter how far in the past it happened.

Even if those past partners are no longer in the picture, retroactive jealousy can involve obsessive and persistent thoughts, or even compulsive behaviours.

Known as ‘retroactive’ due someone being jealous of something that’s already happened in the past which can’t be changed, it can cause major problems for a couple.

How can you spot ‘Rebecca Syndrome'?

Balestrieri told Women’s Health that a person experiencing RJ might believe that a partner’s previous partner is better looking than you, better at sex or smarter.

It could also manifest as believing that their partner has had better sex in the past with their last partner.

The signs of RJ could present itself as:

  • A fixation on a partner's romantic and sexual history
  • Obsessively asking their partner about past relationships
  • Frequently asking for reassurance about the current relationship
  • Intrusive behaviours such as stalking a partner’s ex
  • Being suspicious without any evidence
Rebecca Syndrome can ruin your relationship. (Netflix)
Rebecca Syndrome can ruin your relationship. (Netflix)

How can ‘Rebecca Syndrome’ affect your relationships?

According to Balestrieri: "It can really bring up a lot of pain for couples because for the partner with RJ, they are often fixated on understanding the details of their partner’s past relationships, wondering if their partner is thinking or fantasising about their ex, or even comparing their current relationship with their past experiences.

"It may be how somebody compensates for abandonment fears and ideas that they’ll never be good enough for a relationship because of past relational trauma."

One of the main concerns surrounding Rebecca Syndrome is that it could completely erode the trust and intimacy within a relationship, and what could have been a healthy relationship is now irreparable.

Featured Image Credit: Netflix / Getty stock

Topics: Sex and Relationships, News, Dating trends

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