Expert explains how you can tell if someone is a narcissist just by looking at them
We're taught not to judge a book by its cover, but according to this esteemed strategist, you can tell a lot about a person just by looking at them.
More specifically, Robert Greene reckons that a quick glance and some critical thinking can easily help you identify whether there is a narcissist in your midst.
Although this word is thrown around a lot these days, it is a genuine mental health condition that millions of people have.
Folks with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) have an increased sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
Advert
Greene admitted that he 'definitely' displays a few of these qualities himself, but says he can now exercise 'control' over these aspects of his personality and rein himself in.
The renowned author and expert on power strategies - who is behind thought-provoking books such as The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, Mastery and The Laws of Human Nature - doesn't have NPD, but he admitted he can somewhat relate to those who have been diagnosed with it.
During an appearance on the Jack Neel Podcast in July, Greene explained: "I've always been a mix of things - so I'm very interested in other people and what they're feeling but at the same time, I want attention, I want more love.
"So I have a self-absorbed quality. And it's only by recognising it that I can make something out of it that's not so self-destructive, and I can handle it in a more rational manner.
"We are all flawed individuals and if you want to become a better person, you have to admit that you have flaws that you can now look at and work on them."
Greene said that he has been around enough narcissists in his life to be able to spot one a mile off, though.
"I've noticed over the years that there is a kind of facial quality to narcissists... it's hard to verbalise because it's more, for me, a feeling," he said. "But their eyes are kind of a giveaway."
The expert - who is well versed in the topics of social intelligence and strategic thinking - believes that they don't call eyes the windows to the soul for nothing.
He explained: "Narcissists often give the impression that they're interested in you - they like you, they're listening to you. Which is kind of a contradiction, [as] that doesn't sound like a narcissist.
"But it's not the kind of attention where they're really interested in you... they're trying to get something from you. They're trying to get you to like them so that they can now use you.
"The way I see it, there's a kind of a deadness in their eyes. They're looking at you, they're listening to you, but you can see they're not really connecting.
"The wheels are spinning inside their brain about what they can do with the information you're giving them. There's not a feeling of warmth or interest in their eyes."
According to Greene, the way someone smiles can also give you an indication of whether they are a narcissist or not, too.
He explained that in his experience, these people often have a 'slightly demonic' grin that 'doesn't feel like it's directed towards other people'.
Greene went on: "Oftentimes when you smile and laugh, it's a social thing, you're responding to other people. You can't really control it - somebody tells a joke or you hear something and then you're laughing and there's kind of a communion going on. But the narcissist, they're just stuck inside themselves.
"It's kind of a demonic quality when they laugh and when they smile. If I see it, I know it right away."
Topics: Mental Health, Podcast
Olivia Burke