Man who's still a virgin at 47 reveals sad reason why it led to him developing a worrying addiction
A man who has claimed to still be a virgin at 47 has revealed why he is afraid of being intimate with anyone.
Andrew Brookman, 47, struggled with bullying at school and lived through his parents' divorce as a child. He was just 10 when his parents split, with his fear of socialising and getting into a relationship beginning from here.
Andrew said that he has been 'timid' all his life, and didn't want to experience arguments with his 'fear of life', preferring to be a lone wolf.
He added that it also came from suppressing his sexuality, and the experience of homophobia while growing up.
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Unfortunately for the 47-year-old, it led to an addiction to porn, with him describing it as his 'only outlet' and acting as a reference for sex.
Andrew admitted that he would watch it for up to two hours a night everyday while he was in his 30s.
The cleaner, form Pontypridd, Wales, has started to open up about his life, saying that he can relate to the Channel 4 show Virgin Island, which features a course in intimacy with 'sex surrogates' that could lead to sex.
It helps the participants from getting held back, with Andrew being candid about his situation in recent times.
He admitted: "I've never been in a relationship. Watching other people get divorced - and seeing arguments gave me a fear of being social and intimate.
"I didn't want to go through all that."
Admitting that there is a 'sense of shame' in being a virgin, he added: "Having no confidence, no self-esteem and no self-worth and being repressed of sex drove me to seek therapy because I was petrified of getting intimate with anybody."
He explained that he is 'not ashamed' of still being a virgin.
"I've always been timid and quiet," he admitted, going on: "I've always been afraid, I've always been emotional. I got bullied in school. I was different. I was odd."
While he had crushes on girls as a teenager, he struggled to take it to the next step - though at 16, he realised that he was gay.
He got worried about opening up about his sexuality due to the stigmas around society at the time, saying that he 'went into the closet' as his 'fear grew'.
By his late 20s, he was in therapy and on anti-depressants to combat his feelings, but the fear remained, while his 30s saw an intense porn addiction come into play when he got his own place.
Describing it as his 'only outlet', he said that he 'wanted to be doing it as well', and that he was 'jealous' of those on the screen.
"I was enraged that I couldn't even have sex in private," he added.
But now, he has written a book, Colours of a rare bird, which details how he overcame shame and volunteered at his local pride. He also shows disdain for those who laugh at virgins.
"It's not funny," he concluded. "By now I should be openly gay - I should be in a relationship. I'm not afraid to admit it now [that he's a virgin]."
You can read more about Andrew's book here.
Topics: Mental Health, Sex and Relationships, Community
Joshua Nair