Little-known condition ROCD can ruin relationships

Maybe you’re absolutely fed up of your partner looking for red flags in your relationship. Or, maybe you’re both simply perfect and there’s not a single tiny thing to even look for – yeah, sure.

But just when you thought there was enough red flags being brought up and dating trends being followed, there’s a condition that you might not even know about that can ruin relationships, according to an expert.

Perhaps you’re sat having dinner and realise your partner is chewing really loudly. Or you realise their weird little laugh at Gogglebox is super jarring. Or maybe you’ve had an irrational feeling they’re cheating on you.

Whatever it is, the feeling might pass relatively quickly and you’re soon over it.

But maybe not. Maybe you can’t shake the thought, doubts and criticisms and they just keep getting worse.

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Being consumed by these uncomfortable moments can be a sign of relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder (ROCD).

Cleveland Clinic says those living with it are stuck in those thoughts ‘magnifying and replaying them over and over’.

Now, it’s important to say that it’s pointed out that ROCD is not a diagnosable mental health disorder.

And the Clinic say it’s ‘easier to think of it as a manifestation of OCD’.

With ROCD, the thoughts and resulting actions are specific to a romantic relationship and it can be a pretty big problem.

Psychologist Susan Albers explains that partners will likely ask for reaffirmation about being loved and cared for multiple times a day and that people can get ‘very stuck’ in their thoughts.

She explains: “ROCD can be really toxic and damaging to relationships, particularly when you’re with someone that you really care about.

“It really does impact a person’s day-to-day functioning. They can become paralysed by these intrusive thoughts, which can be very overwhelming and distressing.”

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Author of The Magic in Me, counselling psychologist Dr Rina Bajaj also told The Sun: “The constant questioning and anxiety can create a significant emotional burden for both partners and can lead to break ups.”

While those with ROCD may become fixated on the supposed ‘flaws’ of their partners, it might leave them with the sudden urge to ditch the relationship.

And with these kinds of thoughts and feeling swirling round someone’s mind, what goes on in the bedroom will probably be suffering too.

Although there isn’t a specific diagnosis for ROCD, there is for OCD – so if this all feels a little close to home, it could be worth seeing a psychologist to determine if you have that or not.

You might consider trying out therapy, even keeping a journal and checking in with others to see whether you just have actual issues in your relationship to work through.

If you're experiencing distressing thoughts and feelings, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is there to support you. They're open from 5pm–midnight, 365 days a year. Their national number is 0800 58 58 58 and they also have a webchat service if you're not comfortable talking on the phone