You don't tend to get a second chance to make a first impression so if you want someone to like you from the start, a relationship expert has explained there's something you should never say to a potential partner.
Making the right impression is important for all sorts of relationships, whether you're looking for a partner, a friend or are trying to get a job.
You'll want to come across as your interesting, erudite self which means you should be using the right language to make sure people get your meaning and like you.
Communication expert Vanessa Van Edwards appeared on the Diary of a CEO podcast last year, where she explained how one thing you're probably asking someone when you meet them is a major barrier to them liking you.
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According to Van Edwards, this thing you should never say to a potential partner is: "What do you do?"
It may be the easiest way of asking someone how they spend their time, but the expert warned that it was spoiling your chance at an interesting interaction and you could come over as 'rude'.
She said: "Stop asking 'What do you do?', stop asking 'How are you?', stop asking 'How's it going?', that's why you hate people.
"If you're asking those questions of course you're going to hate people, those are the most boring questions anyone's ever asked."
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Van Edwards said she wanted to challenge people to go 30 days without asking 'What do you do?' and pointed out how it could come across as rude without you knowing, and that would kill a chance at making someone like you.
She said that asking someone 'What do you do?' it was really asking a person 'What are you worth?', and she explained that it was a 'rude question' for someone who was not defined by what they did for a living.
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Instead, she suggested that you say something like 'working on anything exciting recently', as that gave another person 'permission connection' which gives the other person in the conversation the chance to give you the answer they thought was most interesting.
If someone asks you 'What do you do?' then you'll probably talk to them about your job, but if you're asking them about 'anything exciting' then they've got much greater scope to talk about something else if their job isn't that exciting.
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"That also gives you really good nuggets for the next time you see them, you can say 'Hey, how was that thing you were working on that was really exciting going?'" she said of how you could turn a better first impression that makes people like you into further interactions.
In case you've already asked that question and aren't sure where to go from there in the conversation, another question she recommended you ask was: "What's your biggest goal right now?"
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Community
Joe Harker