Experts reveal things you should never say to your partner if you want your relationship to last

Romantic relationships can be a minefield, so thankfully, a group of experts have revealed the things you should never say to your partner if you want to go the distance.

Other than what we would hope to be the obvious things to never say for normal folks - like fancying their sister or telling them they shouldn't eat dessert - there's actually plenty of things that might cause problems in an otherwise perfect relationship.

In a world where people are now getting fed the idea that partners need to be as perfect as the ones you see on social media or TV, or even similar to the lines they receive from a strangely advanced AI system, it's unlikely that you're ever going to find anyone who is without fault.

But even if you've found your soulmate and things are going swimmingly, it could all go to pot if you slip up and say something stupid, which I think, it's fair to say, all of us are particularly guilty of at times.

Now, a group of experts have shared a list of 10 different things you shouldn't saying if you want to avoid sleeping on the sofa, or even losing your relationship altogether.

"You're overreacting"

Yeah, this is rarely going to calm anyone down, and even if you think it might be true, it's probably best to stay quiet.

Chartered counselling psychologist and counselling directory member Jeanette Fegan said: "Instead of dismissive statements, adopt a curiosity as to why your partner said or did what they did, so you can better understand them, and they you."

"You care about [something/someone] more than me"

While this may well be true, your partner should probably be made to feel like the most important person or thing in your life. There might be times in life where the focus has to be on a friend or family member, but most of the time, it's not fair to prioritise other things or people over your relationship, or you might just lose it, with life coach Lorena Bernal suggesting that it can risk invalidating the love your partner has for you.

"You never listen"

We might be tempted to say this one if our partners forget something important or are busy doomscrolling on their phones, but if it was actually true, then you wouldn't be with them in the first place. Or perhaps you would because you look the toxicity?

It's probably good to stay quiet about fancying their friend as well (Getty Stock)

Either way, according to Bernal, accusing someone of this would be a 'inherently hyperbolic and inaccurate' statement.

"That’s not true - you’re being ridiculous"

Relationship coach Heather Garbutt said that when it comes to something like this it's important to 'understand how the other person experiences the situation'.

Even if you have facts to back up that what they are saying isn't true, you have to understand where they are coming from, and also approach it sensitively.

"This is just like before, when you did..."

Bringing up old mistakes or issues is never going to be a good solution in an argument, and it could well be the tipping point for some relationships.

"It can make your partner feel as though they’re constantly under scrutiny and that past mistakes will never be truly forgiven, undermining trust and security within the relationship," Bernal explained.

"I told you so"

It feels like most of us know about this one, and it's rarely been a good idea to say it unless you're extremely confident it's not going to annoy your partner.

Neuroscientist and human behaviour expert Eldin Hasa says telling your partner 'told you so' can help imply 'a sense of superiority and undermines your partner’s self-esteem'.

"You’re such a [insulting name]"

Name-calling is pretty juvenile at the best of times, and if you're resorting to it, then it probably means that you haven't got a leg to stand on in whatever argument you are having.

Communication is key (Getty Stock)

Fegan said: "Essentially, it is crucial to communicate your needs to your partner with empathy, and choose words where the person owns their feelings."

"I don't want to hear about it"

Like it or not, it's your responsibility as a partner to take an interest in whatever your partner enjoys, and you should always want to speak with them and, crucially, listen.

According to Hasa, if you shut down communication, then it can lead to 'emotional distancing' in your relationship.

"Why can’t you be more like...?"

Even though there's plenty of people in relationships that would admit to thinking about someone else during bedroom activities, it's never a good idea to compare your partner with another person.

"They are likely to believe that they are not good enough. This will then likely result in people pleasing behaviour; they will try and do whatever the person wants to feel ‘good enough’," Fegan said.

If you're comparing your partner with a co-worker or friend, then go and date them instead.

"If you don’t do *this*, I’ll leave"

Although the idea of an ultimatum might seem cool, it can be pretty toxic for a relationship, especially if you're putting pressure on your partner to do something that might not be necessary.

Fegan said this was a 'toxic' tactic which can drop your partner 'in a state of fear' where they feel they have to tread on eggshells around you or the relationship might be over.

So, if you're planning on dropping any of these into a conversation, you might well end up in trouble and/or single.