Subtle signs you could be having a conversation with a psychopath

The thing about psychopaths is they look like everybody else, so it can be all but impossible to tell whether you've met one or not.

There are some things which might point you towards the possibility that you're living near one, or that there could be a psychopath in the room with you right now.

However, could you spot if you were talking to a psychopath in the moment?

It would be difficult to do mid-conversation but fortunately psychotherapist Amy Morin has laid out the nine signs you need to be on the lookout for in conversation.

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Speaking in past tense

The expert said that you'd only be talking to a psychopath in about one out of 100 conversations unless you were in prison, but if someone is always speaking in past tense when they needn't it could be a sign.

Experts believe this happens because they're 'detached from their behaviour and their environment'.

It's a subtle difference, but a study into psychopathic behaviour notes that a lot of the signs are, so you've got to be on the lookout for the other stuff.

Noticeable body language

This is a feature several other studies have highlighted in psychopaths, so if you're talking to someone and they're using a lot of hand gestures be careful.

Apparently this one is used to cover up lies by distracting you with their gestures, so you're watching the hands when you ought to be watching the mouth.

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Lack of emotion

This is a common sign of a psychopath, but actually spotting it could be more difficult than you think.

Morin explained that the lack of emotion will come in their choice of language, noting that for them saying 'I love you' is a statement they put as much emotion into as asking someone to pass the milk.

If what they're saying doesn't ring true emotionally and the rest of their body isn't saying it then you might start to notice.

Turning on the charm

On the other hand, if a psychopath is using emotional language it's usually to get 'attention and admiration'.

If they say something which sounds like it ought to be emotional and you think it was designed to manipulate you then it could set alarm bells ringing.

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Slow and steady

Morin said that psychopaths tend to speak in a 'slow, controlled manner' and don't place the same emphasis upon certain words as other people might do.

A neutral tone and unsettlingly calm manner during times when it'd be entirely appropriate to be emotional may have you concerned.

Cause and effect

Another clue which Morin said you ought to pick up on is when a psychopath is asked to justify their actions.

She explained that they'll talk about things they did in a very 'cause and effect' way, so they won't be sorry for things they did and will instead say they did what they had to do as though it were a natural consequence.

The expert said this was more likely to show up in conversations with criminals where they were trying to justify what they'd done.

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It's always what they need

Someone always talking about what they need with no consideration for anyone else's needs is another sign to look out for if you're trying to tell whether you're talking to a psychopath.

When they're talking they'll keep the conversation to themselves, how it benefits them and you'll hear nary a peep about how what they did affected others.

Umm-ing and ahh-ing

Lots of people use 'umm' and 'ahh' noises during conversations as verbal pauses while their brain conjures up what to say next.

However, Morin said psychopaths used them as an attempt to mimic the behaviour of others.

If someone is 'umm-ing' and 'ahh-ing' during a conversation and it sounds not quite right then pay attention for the other signs.

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Storytime

The last thing to look for is them telling richly detailed stories about themselves which paint them in a positive light.

While many people love telling stories about the time they won where they're always right and everyone else around them is an idiot, you might realise they're using these stories to gain your trust and manipulate you.

Of course these signs in isolation might just mean nothing, but if someone you're talking to is ticking several of these boxes and giving you the ick then it's perhaps your brain trying to tell you something.

Topics: Mental Health, Health

Joe Harker

Joe graduated from the University of Salford with a degree in Journalism and worked for Reach before joining the LADbible Group. When not writing he enjoys the nerdier things in life like painting wargaming miniatures and chatting with other nerds on the internet. He's also spent a few years coaching fencing. Contact him via [email protected]

@MrJoeHarker