Expert reveals biological reason we are more attracted to people in relationships
A psychologist has revealed why people are more attracted to individuals in relationships.
It's odd isn't it - you may be single for what feels like forever, but as soon as you find someone you like and settle down, the DMs come flooding in.
Or maybe it's the other way around, and you often find yourself being attracted to people in relationships.
Well, rest assured, it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you or those who may be attracted to people who are taken, and it's scientifically backed.
Advert
The psychologist has explained that it's something called 'mate choice copying', and though it may sound like a reach, it turns out that it's not humans that are plagued with these thoughts, as animals also go through the same thought process.
Psychologist Eliose Skinner explained to Metro: "Mate choice copying is defined as the probability of choosing a mate being increased by others’ choice of that person, in other words, an individual copies another’s mate choices."
"Basically, if someone fancies that person, you’re more likely to fancy them because they appeal to more people than just you. It sounds reductive, but there’s biological proof," she claimed.
The phenomenon alters dating lives on the daily, despite all the trends going around such as 'dry begging' or 'hamstering'.
"It’s been documented in many species, from fish and birds to primates," relationship psychologist Limor Gottlieb said to the publication.
Apparently, if a man is 'chosen' by a woman, it means he has desirable qualities and that he is of worth.
It can happen to both men and women, but Gottlieb claims theat women are more susceptible, adding: "In our ancestral environment choosing a mate was a high-stakes decision, due to their high maternal investment - they invested more in children from pregnancy to gestation and years of child-rearing,
"So women looked for hidden qualities and cues like commitment, loyalty, provisioning, and intelligence, that aren’t obvious at a glance."
On the other hand, men are said to focus on visible fertility signs such as youth and health, as the expert stated: "That’s why female mate choice tends to be more socially influenced, while male mate choice is more visually calibrated."
According to Skinner, people who look for external support when it comes to decision-making are more prone to mate choice copying, such as those with less relationship experience.
Obviously, if you were to adopt this method, it comes with its issue, as Gottlieb explained: "It helps speed up decision-making but it doesn’t guarantee compatibility,
"Someone may look desirable in public, yet not be a healthy long-term partner in private."
She explained that any lasting relationship requires shared values and commitment, while pointing out: "Not to mention, if someone leaves a partner for you, there’s always the risk they’ll repeat that behaviour again."
If you were to act on mate choice copying, it actually becomes 'mate poaching', where you're actively trying to steal someone else's partner.
The relationship expert claimed that a fifth of new relationships begin this way, explaining: "Those who engage in mate poaching score higher in narcissism, extraversion, unfaithfulness and openness to new experiences," in what she labels a 'short-term mating strategy'.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Community
Joshua Nair