Sex and relationship experts explain why there are so many more young virgins now

Believe it or not, there are so many more young virgins nowadays than there used to be.

Yep, while you might think you’re some absolute veteran in the sheets, the same can’t necessarily be said for all of your peers. And sex and relationship experts have explained a number of possible causes for why this might be.

Dr Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman spoke to LADbible ahead of the new reality show Virgin Island. With its pretty wild title, the series follows 12 adult virgins who embark on a unique and ‘hands-on’ course in intimacy.

Here, they work with a number of sexologists to take their first steps towards sex and overcome the fears holding them back.

This all comes as research from University College London found one in eight 26-year-olds are still virgins compared to one in 20 in previous generations. And on top of that, a recent Channel 4 survey found that more than 1/3 of people ages 16-24 are virgins.

And almost one in five of those aged 16-30 are virgins, as the specialists on Virgin Island attempt to tackle this with the young people participating.

Pretty much experts on all things sex, Danielle and Celeste know exactly what they’re talking about as they ultimately hope the show will inspire us all to have ‘better sex’.

But it’s the steps to even taking the plunge in the first place that so many aren’t making as the pair say this generation don’t quite know how to ‘face awkward moments’.

And let’s be honest, everyone’s first time is pretty awkward (don’t kid yourself) and it seems not all virgins realise that that's ok.

“They’re so afraid it’s going to be awkward or uncomfortable, they don’t even want to take the risk.” Celeste adds.

Seeming to plague plenty areas of young people’s lives, the experts also put the ‘pressure for perfection’ down as a potential cause for this higher rate of virgins.

Celeste is a renowned expert in the fields of intimacy and personal transformation (Channel 4)

Danielle says people are exposed to more ideals from ‘influencers and social media’ and it causes the feeling that people may not ‘have the perfect body’ or that they ‘need to know all the techniques' before going for it.

“And there’s not a lot of places to learn techniques. So they think, ‘Oh, is it supposed to look like porn?’” she continues.

“No, porn is porn. Porn is for excitement, real life looks different. The issue is the idea of ‘I need to know already’, rather than ‘I'm going to take time to learn.’”

So, add that to the lack of ‘practice with awkward moments and discomfort’ and you’ve got people way too in their own heads to let themselves be intimate.

Plus, Celeste points out: “We live in a virtual world, there’s not a lot of face-to-face and physical connection that people are getting and the pandemic was a nightmare for that. And sex doesn’t happen like that - you need to touch bodies.”

Dr Danielle guides people toward discovering their authentic selves, nurturing joyful sex lives, and creating fulfilling relationships (Channel 4)

With this worry around awkwardness and pressure to be perfect, Danielle, a pioneer in this field, reminds us: “You know, we fumbled a lot when we started to have sex, there’s no perfection that happens when you do that.”

The new show really goes into the fears and worries holding the participants back from sex as things like low self-esteem and pressures from social media comes into play.

And the experts describe it all as one big cycle, as people ‘feel so bad just because they’re virgins’.

“The low self-esteem makes it less likely they’ll have sex, and then they don’t have sex, and then that lowers their self-esteem,” Celeste explains.

Well, you can see the experts in action as they help the adult virgins to dive deep into themselves and hopefully try to, well, make the splash.

Virgin Island premieres on Monday 12 May at 9pm on Channel 4.