What it means to be graysexual as more people are coming out
Graysexuality is a particular identity challenging the modern understanding of sexual orientation.
An increasing number of people have started to identify as graysexual, which can be defined as limited amounts of sexual attraction which can vary in intensity.
The graysexuality spectrum includes being demisexual, a term which rose to popularity in the UK last year after I'm a Celeb star Tulisa came out.
Many people mistake being graysexual with being asexual, which is when someone experiences little to no sexual attraction, though this is far from the case.
Advert
In fact, people often get confused over what graysexuality really is.
Also known as gray-A or gray-ace, it's very much its own identity in the LGBTQ+ world, so here are all the differences it has to more well-known orientations.
What does graysexual mean?
According to WebMD, graysexuality describes people who rarely or barely feels attraction.
People who identify as graysexual fit somewhere between being asexual and being allosexual, which is a term used to describe those who experience sexual attraction.
The intensity may be so low that it can be ignored, and isn't a necessity in relationships.
This term reinforces the idea that sexuality isn't black or white, with there being a 'gray area' which applies to some people.
How does graysexual differ from being asexual?
According to Healthline, an asexual person can be defined as someone who experiences little to no 'sexual attraction'.
That being, that they rarely find an individual sexually appealing - though this is different from libido/sex drive.
Libido is to do with needing to have sex to feel release, almost like scratching an itch, while sexual attraction focuses more on finding people attractive and wanting to have sex with them.
While graysexuality involves infrequent or low-intensity sexual attraction, asexuality involves almost none at all.
How does graysexual differ from being demisexual?
Demisexual people experience sexual attraction via a close emotional bond with someone, which is not the same as experiencing infrequent levels of sexual attraction from your partner.
This is because demisexual people can experience intense sexual attraction often, but only if they can build a relationship with the person first.
Graysexual people may even find that they feel sexual attraction to people that they don't have an emotional bond with.
Once again though, sexuality and orientation are fluid, as the 2015 Asexual Census discovered that 80 percent of those surveyed identified under a different orientation before identifying as asexual.
How might being graysexual look in dating or relationships?
Graysexual people can experience different forms of attraction, such as being aesthetically attracted, physically attracted, or romantically attracted to potential partners.
They can also form a platonic attraction, more linked to friendships, while emotional attraction can apply to both.
There are also different levels of romantic orientations which apply across all identities, from aromantic, meaning you have no attraction to anyone, all the way to polyromantic, where you're attracted to people of all genders.
Asexual or graysexual people may want a romantic relationship, which can still be healthy, though sex may not be as important as it would be to others.
The graysexual pride flag, which represents people who identify under the orientation (Getty Stock Image)
With that being said, sex can still be enjoyable for graysexual people, as you can have sex for fun, to become pregnant, to feel intimacy, or simply to experiment.
There is a difference between sexual attraction and sexual behaviour, as you can be attracted to someone without having sex, or vice versa.
While some people feel about sex the same way their whole lives, others may fluctuate.
No two graysexual people are the same, but many experience the same feelings of sex being unimportant. They may not prioritise sexual attraction, as they do not feel it often, ot only in certain circumstances.
Cuddling, talking, or helping their partner may be the way they show affection.
Topics: LGBTQ, Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle, Dating trends
Joshua Nair