It’s a new year and with that, comes new dating trends it seems.
You might have thought you’d had enough of hearing things like the ‘penny method’ or that you were done with the likes of getting zombied but now, a new kid has entered the conversation.
The latest dating practice that seems to be circulating social media is called ‘breadcrumbing’. And it’s not about leaving a nice trail of crumbs to a big, beautiful surprise for your date.
It’s a little more of a darker situation. Sure, ‘breadcrumbing’ might sound tasty but it has some rather dangerous consequences.
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The term started doing the rounds last year and is essentially when someone leads a person on by sharing ‘crumbs’ of information and glimpses of hope for a relationship without actually attending to fully pursue it.
‘Breadcrumbing’ comes from the tale of Hansel and Gretel whose breadcrumbs are supposed to lead them home except, they don’t take them anywhere.
Dr Cortney Warren explained to Indy100: "Breadcrumbing is a manipulation tactic that only benefits one party - the breadcrumber enjoys the romantic attention they receive from you without having to truly invest in the relationship in any real way, as a committed partner would."
And the key issue is that it’s not always obvious as the person doing it is tricking you into believing they’re interested.
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The problem with breadcrumbing is that it is not always so easy to identify, since the person doing it gives the impression that they are interested and that you're on the same page, when they reality is very different.
Dr Warren warned of several indicators that you might be the victim of breadcrumbing.
"They give you little text messages or you maybe met them a few times if you want it on a couple of dates, and so they showed some interest, but now when you're trying to get a hold of them or make a plan, they're really noncommittal,” she said.
"Or they only give you like a little emoji as opposed to like an actual direct response and so often for the person who is being breadcrumbed, they feel very confused."
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Breadcrumbing can be pretty harmful for the person left, well, ‘crumbed’.
Clinical psychologist Dr Monica Vermani warned CNN Health of the consequences, saying: “Breadcrumbing can create tremendous confusion and distress for the target.”
“Over time, the target is emotionally manipulated, deceived and disrespected,” she added. “They feel anxious, sad, confused, lonely, inadequate, abandoned, embarrassed … hopeless and hopeful, angry and unworthy of love or attention.”
As a result of being breadcrumbed buy someone, people might end up believing they only deserves scraps of attention and never find what they should truly have in a relationship.
Don’t settle for crumbs, lads.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Mental Health
Jess Battison