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You'd think Cruz Beckham's upbringing would be better and more enjoyable than yours in just about every single way - massive houses, fancy holidays, posh food.
But as his mum Victoria's Instagram story has proved, the sort of posh* food he's served is nothing to envy (*that's a Spice Girls reference, hope that was clear).
The fashionista attempted to make her 14-year-old son Weetabix, but she absolutely butchered it.
The 45-year-old posted a picture of the monstrous breakfast along with a shoulder shrugging emoji and the caption: "I did try!"
The picture raises a lot of questions. Did she put the Weetabix in the microwave for 45 minutes? Was she trying to avenge Cruz for something? Is that in fact a photo of a hot blended poo on a plate?
Also, who else is surprised that the Beckhams are eating Weetabix/Weetabex at all? When I buy Weetabix (or the Aldi equivalent), I almost always have a moment of melancholic reflection in which I wonder why I don't have enough money to afford a more enjoyable meal to start my days.
You'd think the Beckhams would be dining out on smoked salmon and quail eggs, not bricks of wheat cooked in a microwave for five hours.
Anyway, a Weetabix spokesperson told Victoria not to be too concerned about her 'cooking' cock-up.
Speaking to The Sun, the spokesperson said: "Victoria shouldn't worry. There's no right or wrong way to enjoy your Weetabix."
You know what, I thought that too - until I saw how Victoria did her Weetabix. There is simply no enjoyment to be had from that plate.
In November, an Australian celebrity chef had to come out and defend what he serves his kids for breakfast for quite the opposite reason.
Pete Evans shared a picture of the 'surf and turf breakfast' on Instagram, before explaining in the caption just what exactly we were all looking at - namely boiled organic eggs topped with caviar, sauerkraut, grass-fed wagyu hotdogs with chilli sauce, a little fruit, coconut yoghurt and chicken broth.
However, after the brekkie was branded 'ridiculous' on one news site, Evans leapt to its defence in a subsequent post.
He said: "Well there you go. Some may call this ridiculous... I like to call it delicious and of course at the end of the day (or actually start of the day) it is well sourced animal protein and fat from land or sea or fresh water animals and some vegetables and fruit in any combination that suits your taste buds, availability, budget and time.
"The formula is always the same... remove the inflammatory food and celebrate the food that keeps us healthy."
However you feel about it, I think we can all agree it looks a hell of a lot more appetising than Victoria's Weetabix.
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