Evelyn’s missed birthday story is a tragic reminder to speak about mental health and suicide
Warning: This article contains subject matter some readers may find distressing
Evelyn Gibson’s parents want their daughter’s story to be a reminder of the vital work needed to help end youth suicide.
The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) has launched a Missed Birthdays campaign after the 15-year-old from Grantham was one of the 6,929 young people in the UK who have taken their own lives in the last decade.
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CALM has shared their C.A.R.E. Kit to help you take action to protect the young people in your life from suicide.
It's full of practical advice to equip you with everything you need to be there for a young person - from introducing the topic to keeping them safe in a crisis.
Six weeks after Evelyn was discharged from Glenfield Hospital, Leicester, for mental health issues, she took her own life in April 2022.
The young girl never made it to her 16th birthday and CALM has revealed that suicide is the most common cause of death for those under 24.
Following the landmark Missed Birthdays campaign last September, CALM has launched its new film, called ‘Evelyn’, in partnership with ITV and the Iceland Foods Charitable Foundation (IFCF).
The film tells the story of Evelyn, who tragically died aged 15. Narrated by her mum, Jenni, the film explores the devastating impact of youth suicide on families.
Jenni and Evelyn's stepdad, Jack, said: "Our daughter Evelyn took her own life when she was just 15 years old. A month before her sixteenth birthday. We miss her so much. We hope this film encourages parents and carers, teachers, coaches, health professionals - anyone really - to understand the sheer scale of this issue and how anyone can be affected.
"And we hope it encourages people to arm themselves with the skills and tools they need to properly support a young person. Parents and carers especially need skills and knowledge to support their young people. It’s really important people don’t shy away from using the word suicide. It can be really scary - but we need to use the word suicide confidently to enable more open conversations."
The CALM C.A.R.E. Kit
C - CHECK IN
A - ASK HOW THEY ARE
R - REMAIN CLOSE
E - EXPERT HELP
CHECK IN
The first step is creating a safe space to learn and listen to the young people in your life.
One thing we hear most from young people who’ve struggled with their mental health is that they don't feel heard or understood.
So what can you do to listen to the young people in your life? The Kit is full of simple and practical tips and advice on how to create space and time for these vital conversations.
ASK
Talking to a young person about mental health and suicide is one of the most helpful, preventative measures we can take to look after young people.
It’s a misconception that talking about suicide and mental health makes things worse. Research shows that talking about suicide stops suicide.
And the earlier you do it the better - it can help them to really get to grips with their emotions, learn to articulate their feelings, find coping mechanisms - and, crucially, ask for help when they need it.
REMAIN CLOSE
You don’t need to have all the answers. When a young person opens up to you, the best way to respond is with curiosity and openness. And remember to remain close to them.
By being there for a young person, you’ll empower them to help themselves, build resilience, and help them find ways to cope that have an impact.
The main thing when you're building a supportive relationship with a young person is to stay connected and consistently available - interested in them, able to see things from their point of view and be a solid role model who is willing to help.
EXPERT HELP
Now that a young person has opened up to you, they’ve opened up their world to support from a whole host of places.
You don’t have to take all of the responsibility on your shoulders. Your job is to help them find the best support available, whether that’s opening up to parents, friends or guardians, or speaking to a GP, counsellor or specialist mental health support.
You might also need some support for yourself while you're there for them. Make sure you have a support network too.
CALM's Missed Birthdays campaign
Right now, suicide is the most common cause of death for those under 24.
Half of adults in the UK (52 percent) believe the Government should be doing more to prevent youth suicide against the backdrop of 6,929 young adults having lost their lives in the last decade alone.
But these aren’t just stats on a page.
It’s Amelia who never got to celebrate her next birthday. Sadil who never saw his 20th. Jools who didn’t make it to his 15th.
Each story a tragic reminder that suicide doesn’t care how young you are. It doesn’t care about all you could have been, or all that was to come in your life. But CALM cares and everyone in society should too.
Simon Gunning, CEO of CALM, said: "We cannot stand idly by while young lives continue to be needlessly lost. Over the past decade, 6,929 young adults have taken their own lives in the UK, and these statistics serve as a deafening call to action against government inaction, which has consistently failed young people in the UK. Suicide prevention can't wait. Young people are facing immense social challenges and economic pressures, which is why we’ve taken it upon ourselves to fill that gap now with the CALM C.A.R.E. Kit, which we’re urging absolutely everyone to save, share and bookmark. We all have a role to play in ending youth suicide. By starting life-saving conversations, we can all do our bit to help a young person find a way forward and make sure they never believe that suicide is their only option."
More information and support about starting a conversation can be found in CALM's C.A.R.E. Kit: https://care.thecalmzone.net/
More information on CALM's Missed Birthdays Campaign: https://www.thecalmzone.net/missed-birthdays
If you have been affected by any of the issues covered in this article, please search for 'CALM' or visit thecalmzone.net/get-support
Topics: Mental Health, Health
Anish Vij