Woman diagnosed with terminal cancer split up with husband and slept with almost 200 men
A woman diagnosed with terminal cancer decided to use the time she had left wisely - so she dumped her husband and slept with as many men as she could.
Molly Kochan left a legacy of sexual liberation behind in the wake of her death in March 2019 and her incredible story was recently retold in the TV miniseries, Dying For Sex.
Oscar-nominee Michelle Williams starred as the late podcaster, 45, who decided to bonk nearly 200 blokes after being diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer.
The actress explained she got a true understanding of just how inspiring Molly really was after stepping into her shoes for the Hulu series.
Advert
"Her bravery to take the worst news, which is going to be news that we all receive, and to continue to view her life with creativity and joy and pleasure..." Williams told Good Morning America this week.
"I would not have been capable of that. She continued to seek pleasure amidst painful procedures and bad news...the diagnosis was not going to be who she was.
"This diagnosis became a portal. A way for her, in the time she had left, to go back to heal an original wound and experience pleasure in a body before she no longer had a body to experience."
Who was Molly Kochan?
Molly Kochan was a podcaster, blogger and writer from Los Angeles who realised that life is way too short for subpar sex or 'stressful' relationships.
The extraordinary final chapter of her life is now known across the world thanks to her heartfelt writing about her experience of battling terminal cancer and the podcast she started about her sexcapades with best friend Nikki Boyer.
At the age of 33, Molly raised concerns with her doctor after enduring pain during sex and finding a lump in her breast, but was incorrectly told that she was 'too young' for it to be anything sinister.
Six years later, Molly was diagnosed with breast cancer, which had tragically spread to her lymph nodes, and later to her bones, brain and liver.
The US woman underwent a double mastectomy as well as intense chemotherapy and radiation treatment, but it was sadly incurable.
While hyper-aware that she was living on borrowed time, Molly decided to make the most of every single second she could - by 'seeking joy' and having lots of sex.
Why did Molly Kochan decide to sleep with 200 men?
Although she had been in a 13-year relationship with her husband and 'there was a lot of love there', Molly parted ways with her spouse in March 2016.
The pair had been in couple's counselling, had 'difficulties' in the bedroom even 'before cancer came along' and they were both under 'a lot of stress', according to her blog posts.
"Part of the stress came from my husband’s controlling behaviour and the other part came from my shutting down," she wrote. "What I’ve come to realise in the last few months is that to navigate all of this, I can’t be shut down.
"I really have to come to this eyes open, present, an active participant in the life I get to build. A life that I now know to be limited in time."
During her treatment, Molly was also put on hormone therapy which was supposed to reduce her libido - but it ended up having the opposite effect and she was left 'horny all the time'.
So between these factors, her desire to find out 'what she really liked' in the bedroom before it was too late and her need for a 'distraction from being sick', she decided to hook up with as many guys as she could.
Molly ended up tallying up 183 conquests - but it might have been even more, as after hitting that milestone, she stopped counting.
How did Molly Kochan’s diagnosis change her mindset?
Molly admitted that like the majority of people, she used to care a lot about other people's opinions of her and she often took things personally.
But following her diagnosis, she realised that these things which 'used to weigh' on her were ridiculously trivial - and she embraced the new 'perspective she didn’t have before' her illness.
In a post on her renowned blog, 'everything leads to this', Molly explained that she no longer cared about 'being liked', 'overanalysing the behaviour of others' or 'obsessing' about her pals and romantic partners.
"Now I just figure people come, people go," the Screw Cancer: Becoming Whole author wrote. "And whoever is there, is meant to be there at that particular moment in time."
She then went on to say that she had adopted this mindset when dating too, detailing how she was now 'unfazed' by rejection.
Molly wrote: "Because if someone doesn’t know me, how can their lack of interest be personal? And if on some level it is personal, good to know sooner rather than later.
"I’ve recently come to an acceptance of what is and that I am where I am based on all the choices I made. They were mine, good or bad and regretting any of them doesn’t improve today.
"While it’s important to learn from the past and my mistakes, it’s also crucial for me not to live there. Because all we really have is now."
Molly Kochan’s final message before death
After she took her last breaths on 8 March, 2019, Molly's final ever blog post was shared.
Titled 'I have died', she reflected upon the notches she had racked up on her bedpost, her relationships and what her cancer ordeal had taught her.
"So many people who die, specifically of cancer it seems, write viral letters about embracing life," Molly wrote. "Eat an avocado every day. Tell your mean neighbour his lawn looks nice.
"Don’t hesitate, quit your job, go to Bora Bora. And then they go on to tell you about the last few months of their lives under palm trees, with a once scabies-infected dog."
Molly continued: "I don’t have those kinds of life lessons to share. I know what I did at the end of my life. I know what brought me joy."
She reassured her loved ones that her 'last days were great' and that she was surrounded by 'the people who were meant to be there' - although she was still 'putting pressure' on herself to complete things as she felt herself slipping away, although she acknowledged she had 'no control' over what happened next.
"I get angry when I can’t sit up to type," she said. "There are projects I am hoping to finish before I go. But I have no control over any of that. The only thing I can work on is being without the guilt of not doing.
"Accepting that my days are what they were," Molly said. "As a side note, if you are angry at me for not reaching out, totally understandable. My death process had to be a small and contained one.
"I likened it to a death dinghy. As I floated farther from the shore, I knew one more body would throw off the beautiful balance and safety I worked hard to create.
"That’s not to say that the love and connections we shared weren’t real. They all were. But if you need to get p***ed at me, go for it. I think I might if I read this note from a good friend who was suddenly not there."
Topics: Health, Cancer, Podcast, US News, Sex and Relationships
Olivia Burke