Expert reveals how you can tell if your partner is a narcissist

If you think your partner might be a narcissist then there are certain things to look out for.

It's thought that there could be many undiagnosed cases of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), but the chances are, you probably aren't one.

But if you're having doubts about your partner, or notice a common set of selfish behaviours, it's always worth keeping an eye on it.

NPD is diagnosed as a mental health condition characterised by a high sense of self-importance, an excessive need for attention, and quite often a lack of empathy towards others.

Jacob Skidmore, known as The Nameless Narcissist online, has previously opened up about the difference between being a narcissist and just having narcissistic thoughts, which is more common.

But psychotherapist Kathleen Saxton has opted to challenge the male-focused view of narcissism which 'align with traditionally masculine behaviours'.

Is your partner a narcissist?

Kathleen Saxton has revealed the possible differences between male and female narcissists (Getty Stock Image)

In a column for Stylist, Saxton notes that although 'narcissism knows no gender', men tend to be diagnosed more than women.

"While men may be more frequently diagnosed with NPD (about 7.7 percent of men versus 4.8 percent of women in clinical care, according to the National Comorbidity Survey Replication), this discrepancy may have more to do with diagnostic bias and cultural expectations than true psychological difference," she said.

Making an important distinction, Saxton says that 'the real difference lies not in narcissism itself, but in how it’s perceived between the genders'.

"In romantic relationships, for example, a grandiose male narcissist may be controlling, dismissive or pathologically confident. He may gaslight, dominate conversations or demand constant admiration. These behaviours are often clearly identified and criticised," she added.

Common traits of a female narcissist

The expert claims female narcissists can act differently to males with the same condition (Getty Stock Image)

Saxton says female narcissists may have the following traits:

• Self-sacrificing or overly nurturing

• Often 'helps' or 'mothers' to 'ruin' their partner’s independence

• Constantly plays the victim

• Controls through passive-aggression

She reckons that female narcissists can make their actions easier to overlook or excuse in comparison to men.

While a male might be an 'authoritarian to the point of cruelty or emotionally distant to the point of neglect', a woman might 'control through guilt, enmeshment or martyrdom'.

"She may claim to ‘live for her children’ while eroding their boundaries and identities in the name of love," Saxton said.

"She may compete with her daughter or infantilise her son. But society resists naming this abuse because it conflicts with idealised notions of motherhood."