• iconNews
  • videos
  • entertainment
  • Home
  • News
    • UK News
    • US News
    • Australia
    • Ireland
    • World News
    • Weird News
    • Viral News
    • Sport
    • Technology
    • Science
    • True Crime
    • Travel
  • Entertainment
    • Celebrity
    • TV & Film
    • Netflix
    • Music
    • Gaming
    • TikTok
  • LAD Originals
    • Say Maaate to a Mate
    • Daily Ladness
    • Lad Files
    • UOKM8?
    • FreeToBe
    • Extinct
    • Citizen Reef
  • Advertise
  • Terms
  • Privacy & Cookies
  • LADbible Group
  • UNILAD
  • SPORTbible
  • GAMINGbible
  • Tyla
  • UNILAD Tech
  • FOODbible
  • License Our Content
  • About Us & Contact
  • Jobs
  • Latest
  • Topics A-Z
  • Authors
Facebook
Instagram
X
Threads
Snapchat
TikTok
YouTube

LAD Entertainment

YouTube

LAD Stories

Submit Your Content
Reason why Ancient Greek statues were purposely given unusually small penises

Home> Community

Published 16:53 27 Mar 2023 GMT+1

Reason why Ancient Greek statues were purposely given unusually small penises

An expert explains why the statues were intentionally given minuscule members

Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle

Ever seen a statue of Poseidon or Hercules and wondered why their packages are so compact?

Well, it's not a mistake nor the work of a jokester sculptor - Ancient Greek statues all depict men with intentionally small penises and the reason is far from what you'd think.

Talk about the change in beauty standards. Check out one explanation here:

While these limestone and marble-made men are sporting muscular arms, washboard abs and usually a more than satisfactory head of hair - it seems that there's one thing missing from the full package, pardon the pun.

Advert

Such statues usually boast a towering physique but not all of their body is proportionately as big.

Art historian, Andrew Lear, a specialist in Ancient Greek art and sexuality explained the bizarre logic behind the phenomenon.

"They have small to very small penises, compared to the average of humanity," he began, before noting that the members are also 'usually flaccid'.

Back in the day, circa 400 BC, it's clear that the ideal body type was very different to what it is today.

Unlike how it seems to be nowadays, large and erect penises were the ultimate fashion faux pas in the days of Ancient Greece.

Advert

Such trends can be evidenced by artistic works that came out of that period.

Ancient Greek statues tend to have 'very small penises, compared to the average of humanity'.
The British Museum

In the play, The Clouds (c. 419–423 BC), the playwright Aristophanes attempted to list the very best physical traits of the men around him.

Such characteristics included: "A gleaming chest, bright skin, broad shoulders, tiny tongue, strong buttocks, and a little pr*ck.”

Not only was it considered physically more attractive, but a degree of morality and intelligence was also attributed to the beholder of a 'little pr*ck'.

Advert

Historian Paul Chrystal sought to understand the concept some more, publishing his findings in his book In Bed with the Ancient Greeks (2016).

Great name.

A small penis was a 'badge of the highest culture and a paragon of civilisation'.
Met Museum

The historian found: "The small penis was consonant with Greek ideals of male beauty.

"It was a badge of the highest culture and a paragon of civilisation."

Advert

Oh how the times have changed.

The 'tiny pr*ck' brigade was so strong that it even shamed the people who happened to be more well-endowed.

They were branded as morally compromised, lustful and barbaric - just to name a few insults.

"Big penises were vulgar and outside the cultural norm, something sported by the barbarians of the world," Chrystal explained.

Such blokes were even likened to animals, with the historian pointing to large penises as 'the sign of stupidity, more of a beast than a man'.

Advert

Ouch.

Featured Image Credit: Pixabay

Topics: Viral, Weird

Rhiannon Ingle
Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle is a Senior Journalist at Tyla, specialising in TV, film, travel, and culture. A graduate of the University of Manchester with a degree in English Literature, she honed her editorial skills as the Lifestyle Editor of The Mancunian, the UK’s largest student newspaper. With a keen eye for storytelling, Rhiannon brings fresh perspectives to her writing, blending critical insight with an engaging style. Her work captures the intersection of entertainment and real-world experiences.

Advert

Advert

Advert

Choose your content:

an hour ago
5 hours ago
6 hours ago
a day ago
  • an hour ago

    Man who has spent years studying natural disasters reveals how likely an apocalyptic-level event really is

    The likelihood of a natural apocalyptic-level event wiping us all out has been revealed

    Community
  • 5 hours ago

    Man who visited all 197 countries in world says best he has been to has ‘everything you could want’

    The bloke has seen all sorts on his travels

    Community
  • 6 hours ago

    Images show inside of ‘Black Mirror style’ building that houses 20,000 people

    The place is like its own town

    Community
  • a day ago

    Real reason why Ancient Greek statues all have tiny penises

    Perhaps they're all growers, not showers

    Community
  • Woman explains why ancient Greek statues have really tiny penises
  • Reason why Netflix introduced ‘diabolical’ new update as fans threaten to cancel subscriptions
  • Surprising reason behind why IKEA items are given really strange names
  • Genius reason why UK bus seats are covered in bizarre patterns