Here's a new trend that you should keep in mind the next time you open up any dating apps.
While you may have realised that you're guilty of 'groundhogging' and not changing your ways, or talking to numerous people at once with no intention to progress the conversation by 'carouselling', it looks like there are more dating trends to be aware of.
And you might be guilty of doing this one, too.
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These negative trends can ultimately ruin relationships on any level, so it's always best to nip it in the bud instead of wasting everyone's time.
This one's called kitten-fishing, and as funny as that might be to think about visually, it doesn't involve cats.
You've heard of catfishing, and this trend is exactly what you'd think - it's a less drastic version of it.
For those that don't know what catfishing is, it's when a person creates a fake online persona to trick someone into thinking that they're someone else, either for a friendship or a relationship.
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People do this by using fake photos and information and going as far as to hold conversations with others as this fake person.
What is kitten-fishing?
The difference with kitten-fishing is that it's to do with smaller lies about yourself.
So no fake identities, but it includes telling a few generous lies for your benefit on dating apps.
Dating in the 2020s is an unforgiving and gruelling task, getting a match is one thing and getting along with someone over texts is another. That's without talking about securing a real-life date as well.
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A good example would be lying about your age or adding a couple of inches onto your height to appear more appealing to potential partners.
Using old photos or ones with deceptive angles are also examples of the trend.
Why do people kitten-fish?
You can imagine that it'd be fairly awkward if you said you were three inches taller than you actually are, and you show up on your date at your real height.
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It's a lose-lose situation. So why do people do it?
Basically, online dating is a cruel world, and while flaws are incredibly easy to hide online, people forget that if things go well, you have to meet matches in person.
While you might con your way to a first date though, your lies may prevent you from getting anything further than that.
Here's a tip - starting a relationship with a lie will almost never work.
Take it from psychologist Elisa Robin, Ph.D, who admitted: "I met a man who said he was 5' 8" but was clearly my height (5'5") or a bit less. So my first impression was that he lies. I might not mind that he is shorter, but I do mind that he lied."
How to tell if you're being kitten-fished
Without the displeasure of finding out on your first date, there are ways to sniff kitten-fishers out before meeting them.
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According to psychologist Ana Jovanovic, there are three main things to look out for.
Inconsistencies in details
'Contradictory details in their stories' can be a giveaway, as well as if you notice them trying to avoid a question about something they say they're interested in.
Lack of information
They might withhold certain information about their job or background when you start to ask, again signalling that they're hiding something.
Unrealistic self-presentation
Jovanovic highlights if they seem too good to be true, then they probably are.
She explains that it's up to you if you want to dig further, and if you think the kitten-fishing is 'severe' or 'important' enough to investigate.
Could I be kitten-fishing?
In short, yes, you could be.
You should ask yourself a few questions, such as how many differences there are between your online persona and yourself in real life, or if you've told someone many white lies.
Being truthful about things like this can help you realise if you're a kitten-fisher or not.
You should also ask if the person would describe you the same way you would describe yourself.
If the answer is no, then you could probably work on being more honest with them and yourself about who you are.
After all, who benefits from a failed first date? All that does is send you back to square one.
Topics: Social Media, Lifestyle, Dating trends, Community
Joshua Nair