A Harry Potter fan has paid cast members to roast him - for some reason. Watch here:
Masochistic wizard-lover Brett Ball decided to hand over his cash to cast members in return for a bit of personalised verbal abuse.
Sharing the results on his TikTok channel, Brett explained: "I paid the cast of Harry Potter to roast me.
"Don't ask me why, but I went to Cameo and gave them my money to say mean things."
First up to say mean things to Brett was Ekow Quartey, aka Bem from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Taking aim at Brett, Quartey said: "I hear when you were attacked by Dementors, they just left you alone because I mean, your life is pretty much hopeless already.
"I also heard that when you were born, your picture was on the front page of The Daily Prophet for crimes against wizardry, just because of how ugly you looked."
It's top Potter-themed putdownery, I'm sure you'll agree.
Next up was James Payton, aka Frank Longbottom, who sent over a six-minute tirade for Brett's strange enjoyment.
He said: "You know if you were in St Mungo's, it would be kinder just to put you down."
Speaking to someone off-screen, he added: "I'm doing one of those videos for, what's his name? Brett Ball Bag.
"Yes Professor Dumbledore, I'll tell him he's a c... I can't say that."
That escalated nicely, didn't it?
It remains to be seen how many more abusive vids Brett has up his sleeve, but there's certainly plenty of former Harry Potter cast members selling their services on Cameo. The question is, how much has Brett been willing to fork out?
Quartey only charges £15 a pop, while Payton asks for just £11.25.
However, if he doesn't mind breaking the bank, he could get Tom Felton to call him a c*** for £449.25. Yes, you read that correctly.
This might seem exorbitant, but he has a five-star rating on the site and hundreds of glowing reviews.
One such review reads: "Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!! The Wizarding World is our daughter's escape from her struggles with Asperger's and social anxiety. You will never know what it means to us as parents to have someone like you take the time to do this for her.
"Truly, thank you from not just the bottom of my heart, but from my whole heart. I just may have to rethink my stance on Draco Malfoy. ;) Just kidding. You are SO AWESOME!!!"
Maybe we'll get to see him call Brett a c*** in the near future.
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