Hollywood has taught us to believe that sending messages in bottles is totally a normal thing. There have been plenty of movie scenes showing characters writing heartfelt or desperate messages and hoping that someone, somewhere will stumble across it someday.
Even rock band The Police made it sound like an everyday occurence. How else would a castaway lost at sea find their way home? Must happen all the time.
Well one woman happened to stumble across one at Weston-super-Mare in Somerset, England.
Speaking to LADbible, Jude Skilton said: "I was walking my dog on the beach along the tide line yesterday evening and I was looking at all the seaweed and bits washed up. I saw the usual stuff like cuttlefish, bits of wood etc and I noticed the bottle.
"As I got closer, I could see a cork in the top and some rolled up paper inside, so I picked it up and took a photo of it and posted it on Facebook to show my friends. I said I'd share the message once I'd got home and dried out the paper which was wet.
"I got home and didn't have the patience to dry the paper so I carefully unrolled the paper expecting to see a cute message from a child or something.
"I got a few lines in and realised that it was not as innocent as I'd expected.
Sure enough the messages were a bit risqué to say the least.
Titled 'Teresa and Christopher's Valentine's Bottle', it appears that two lovers have scrawled some very intimate details of their sex life and how much they love one another.
Advert
In the letters, one of the pair (presumably Christopher, although let's not rule anything out) expresses that he loves the other 'with all of my cock', adding that a 'wet patch' is usually left after a steamy romp session.
Meanwhile Teresa (you'd imagine) writes that she 'loves being your princess then your naughty, filthy girl in bed'.
Good lord, imagine if a kid found this note - it's a thousand times worse than Fifty Shades of Grey.
It's quite strange that the raunchy couple thought it would be a good idea to send this into the ether. Maybe they just wanted someone to know just how good their sex life is.
Jude told us: "I burst out laughing and ran in to read it out loud to my husband who was equally amused. I then dried the paper with a hairdryer and posted pictures of the message on Facebook with a message.
"I don't know if Teresa and Christopher expected the message to be read by anyone and they may be too embarrassed to come forward, but it'd be nice for them to know that someone found and shared their naughty message, so they can have a good laugh and celebrate in their own 'special' way."
Your move, Teresa and Christopher.
Featured Image Credit: SuppliedTopics: Funny, Sex, Relationships, Weird, UK