Danniella Westbrook has revealed that she removed all the mirrors in her house when she hit her 'darkest' moment this year.
The former Eastenders star, 52, explained she couldn't bear to look at her reflection due to the damage that her drug use has wreaked on her appearance.
Her cocaine habit, which first began when she was just 14, ended up destroying her nasal septum as the cartilage dividing her two nostrils collapsed.
Westbrook has undergone multiple reconstructive surgeries over the years in a bid to restore it, as well as splashing out thousands on various other procedures to rebuild her face.
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Now, the TV star has told how she is going under the knife once again in the hopes of remedying her breathing issues, which left her 'literally suffocating'.
She explained that she has found a surgeon in Dubai who has 'saved her life and her mental health', dubbing him a 'miracle worker'.
Westbrook told the Daily Mail that she 'got rid of all the mirrors' in her home because she was unable to face her own reflection.
"I couldn’t look at myself," the mum-of-two said. "That’s how bad it got. The darkest part of this year was hitting a point where I said: 'Everybody is right, I’m so ugly'.
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"I hated the way I looked and I couldn’t breathe properly. People were trolling me, abusing me, telling me how ugly I was, saying I was still a dirty cokehead.
"I told my family: 'I can’t do this'. But now I’ve found a surgeon who has saved my life and my mental health. He is a miracle worker. I owe him so much."
Westbrook is heading across the world for a series of operations - as well as a full neck and facelift – that will cost her £45,000. Her surgeon reckons it could take up to two years for her to fully recuperate.
But she is in good spirits about her upcoming operations, as she hopes it will rid her of the breathing problems she has been crippled by.
Earlier this year, she spent three days in hospital on a breathing machine after suffering respiratory difficulties - and doctors made a horrifying discovery.
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Medics found that she had three holes in her mouth, two of which were the same size as a 5p coin, due to a botched surgery she had in 2016.
"They couldn’t believe it when they opened me up," Westbrook said. "The top of my mouth had started to recede and it had two holes, which were constantly leaking and corroded.
"Everything I was eating and drinking was going through them. But the work on that went well, including a surgical lip revision for a cleft lip.
"My surgeon brought my top lip down and forward - those holes were pushing it back and curling my lip up.
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"And, where there is no structure at the end of my nose, it was just pushing up and under. That is why I couldn’t breathe, I was literally suffocating."
Westbrook is set to tell her haunting tale of addiction and the consequences she has had to live with in a new documentary.
"It will be good closure for me," she added. "I won’t be going near any drugs."
Olivia Burke