If you are behind on GoT and don't really want to know about episode nine and what may await in episode 10, what would Littlefinger say to you right now? He'd say 'keep reading, you know you want to'. He's a sneaky piece of shit. And I love him.
The Hound, however, would tell you to 'fuck off right now'.
Seriously - spoilers! There's spoilers about episode nine, a video trailer for episode 10 and predictions (that could very well be wrong).
Leave now my sweet child if you don't want to know stuff.
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Seriously...leave
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Ok, that's better.
Episode nine recap: Littlefinger came to the rescue of John Snow and his army at the last minute, as we predicted.It was pretty awesome, with Aiden Gillen's character grinning away.
Littlefinger stopped Ramsay Bolton defeating Jon Snow. Credit: HBO
Wun Wun the giant broke Winterfell's door down and got shot to shit, eventually succumbing to an arrow in the eye from Ramsay Bolton. RIP Wun Wun.
Oh, and Ramsay is incredibly dead, too. Eaten by his own starving mastiffs. Don't want to talk about it cos I wanted him to claim the Iron Throne and piss off the whole world.
Dany and Yara Greyjoy made a pact and the Masters have been well and truly put in their place.
Scene of the episode (and it was one of the best episodes ever), was Tormund ripping out Smalljon Umber's throat with his teeth, then stabbing him with some kind of small knife. That was bloody incredible.
Nearly forgot, Rickon died. Yawn.
Rickon and Ramsay played a game. Ramsay won. Credit: HBO
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN EPISODE 10
Here's the motherfucking trailer for 'The Winds Of Winter', inspired from the book of the same name.
Credit: HBO
Firstly, I'm just going to say that if the Dornish don't come to King's Landing with a massive army to fuck shit up, then what the hell is the point of Ellaria Sand and her daughters? I'm still hopeful the Dornish are going to do something epic but I just have a feeling it'll be yet another episode when they're noticeable by their absence. A bit like Gendry.
Let's have a look at the trailer in a bit of detail.
I can't see Cersei professing guilt in the presence of The Seven. And I certainly can't see her dying. She never dies. Loras Tyrell, on the other hand, has death written all over him. They'll probably get his gruesome end out of the way quickly.
But my biggest questions around the whole Lannister/Tyrell storyline resonate from episode eight. Margaery is clearly scheming, gets her mother out of King's Landing and is a bright cookie. But, soon after, Qyburn's efforts for Cersei appear to be working, too. Perhaps they are both scheming against each other? If that's the case, I'm plumping for a Lannister win. Help needed in the comments on this, guys.
I think these two families will be the main focus of the episode. I'm pretty sure the Lannister army, perhaps the Tyrells too, will fight the religious fanatics and blood and guts will spill on the streets. But, once more, it's what both families are up to that is the sub-plot that interests me most.
I also think it's high time King Tommen bit the dust. The silly little boy has actually fallen for all this Mother's Mercy bullshit. And we know that it was a prophecy that all of Cersei's children will die. I maintain, that as The Mountain is there to protect Cersei, the best way for him to do that is to kill King Tommen. Then kill anyone else in his path. But whether he can take on an army of fanatics is another question. Expect heads to be ripped off.
It's also time for a bit of uncertainty over the next claimant of the throne. I'd like a bit of a squabble between a few Lannisters and perhaps the Tyrells.
Surely it's time Tommen had his face ripped off? Credit: HBO
And what about Ser Davos and the Red Woman? He's seen Shireen's horse and has clearly worked out the girl was burnt to death as a sacrifice to the Lord of Light. Jon Snow looks worried about it, to say the least, but I think she'll successfully worm her way out of it, probably to the detriment of Ser Davos. I thought he'd die in the 'Battle Of The Bastards', but I'm pretty sure he won't make season seven and this will be his last outing.
History tells us not to mess with Lady Melisandre. Credit: HBO
"The Frey's and the Lannisters send their regards." Top banter from Walder here, but I don't see much happening in this part of the plot, other than both houses reaffirming they're on the same side.
Littlefinger says to Sansa, "I thought you knew what I wanted." Definitely trolling going on here from HBO. I very much doubt it's to marry her. I think it's much more likely to be something far more ambitious. With the Starks probably content just to have Winterfell back, Littlefinger may be alluding to the Iron Throne itself.
Bran's also in it somewhere but my brain is hurting too much from thinking about what will happen on Monday without adding warging into the mix.
Here's my death-o-meter.
Chance of death
Loras Tyrell: 95%
Ser Davos: 60%
Red Woman: 20%
Cersei: 0.1%
The Mountain: 10%
Jaime: 0.1%
Bronn: 20% (perhaps he kisses a poisoned Dornishwoman somehow).
High Sparrow: 70%
Lancel Lannister: 90% (I want it to be so gruesome).
Featured Image Credit:Topics: The Mountain, Game of Thrones