People are revolted to hear what Prince Harry did with a tube of Elizabeth Arden cream in Spare
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When Prince Harry said his memoir was going to be a tell-all book, he really wasn't kidding.
Readers and probably worse-off listeners of the audiobook version of Spare have sat through a rather awkward confession by Prince Harry relating to his, er, royal sceptre.
Prince Harry, who has read the audiobook version for the rather keen royal fans out there, said in his book: "My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatised. The last place I wanted to be was 'Frost Nip-istan'.
Oedipus: ......— Charles Cave (Parody Account) (@c_w_p_c) January 11, 2023
Harry: "hold my beer"
*Throws out every half-used tube of Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream* https://t.co/MdpI14WY3m— Heidi Stephens (@heidistephens) January 11, 2023
"I'd been trying some home remedies, including one recommended by a friend, she'd urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream," he read.
"'My mum used that on her lips, you want me to put that on my todger?!', 'It works Harry, trust me'."
Now here's where it gets worse.
Harry continued: "I found a tube and the minute I opened it, the smell transported me through time.
"'I felt as if my mother was right there in the room and I took a smidge and applied it down there,'" Harry read.
Fans were quick to react to the incredibly uncomfortable confession, with many who were oscillating between 'tell-all book' and 'incredible overshare' now firmly in the latter category.
I had an audible credit.— L A U R A 🌍 (@missgeog92) January 12, 2023
I bought Prince Harry’s book.
There are things I could have gone to the grave not knowing.
They say all publicity is good publicity but I feel for Elizabeth Arden’s marketing team.
I think Harold is sponsored by Elizabeth Arden 🧴 pic.twitter.com/aflVgA9Ivs— Kαmmιlle 🪐 (@KammilleAirFire) January 12, 2023
One social media user said: "This book is a Freudian nightmare."
Another commented: "I had an audible credit. I bought Prince Harry’s book."
The person added: "There are things I could have gone to the grave not knowing. "They say all publicity is good publicity but I feel for Elizabeth Arden’s marketing team."
While a third added: "'Oedipus: ......', Harry: 'hold my beer.'"
okay, so Elizabeth Arden does have a Royal Warrant, and now we know why 🤮— Jennifer Stirrup #MBA Topics: #AI #Data #Strategy (@jenstirrup) January 12, 2023
Prince Harry, this can't be turning out as you'd hoped. Please stop. https://t.co/plB61xcPNk pic.twitter.com/vJB9CKcamY
Another said: "*Throws out every half-used tube of Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream*"
Others merely shared GIFs to express their utter horror at the unwelcome revelation.
And, at time of writing, Elizabeth Arden is trending on Twitter as a result.
RIP to Ardens marketing and social media teams today.
Spare dropped on January 10, and he did have some other, non-penis related tidbits to share.
He certainly hasn't held back about the Royal family and his rift with some of the members, his relationship with Meghan Markle, his struggles with losing his mother, Princess Diana, his military service in Afghanistan and much more.
Sky News says 400,000 copies were sold across hardback, ebook and audio formats on the first day of sale.
Wonder how they went hearing or reading about the todger debacle.
Featured Image Credit: Chris Batson / Alamy. Keith Homan / Alamy
Topics: Prince Harry, Royal Family, Books, Social Media