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Intimacy coordinator shares what really happens when actor becomes aroused while filming

Home> Entertainment

Published 15:31 15 Apr 2026 GMT+1

Intimacy coordinator shares what really happens when actor becomes aroused while filming

David Thackeray has been helping to choreograph sex scenes since 2017, so he's seen it all by this point

Olivia Burke

Olivia Burke

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The primary responsibility of an actor is to put on a compelling performance that viewers can buy into...and this still applies during sex scenes.

Somehow, screen stars have to strike the perfect balance between feigning fornication as authentically as they can, without getting too lost in the moment.

Fighting off the natural feelings of arousal that shooting intimate scenes brings about can be quite difficult - and for those curious about what goes down on set when this occurs, you're in luck.

That's because an intimacy coordinator who has watched this exact thing unfold while cameras were rolling has revealed how this slight issue is dealt with.

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Luckily, the ladies can get away with disguising their arousal for the most part. However, it's much harder to mask for a man.

This is one of the reasons that having an intimacy coordinator on standby is a good idea, as they can help the performers taking part in sex scenes handle this awkward moment.

David Thackeray, who first took on the role of an intimacy coordinator in 2017, has explained what happens when an actor becomes aroused during filming (Instagram/@dthackeray)
David Thackeray, who first took on the role of an intimacy coordinator in 2017, has explained what happens when an actor becomes aroused during filming (Instagram/@dthackeray)

After training as an actor for five years before becoming a director and producer, David Thackeray decided to take on this interesting career back in 2017.

He was one of the first intimacy coordinators in the UK and has since helped choreograph sex scenes for heavy hitters in the entertainment world such as Netflix, Disney, HBO, BBC, and Sky.

Explaining the value his presence brings to a film set, Thackeray pointed out in a post on his website that his job is to take the pressure off of the actors by 'coordinating the scenes of simulated sex and nudity'.

Intimacy coordinators encourage 'open communication and transparency' for the cast and crew and 'create a safe space' for the stars to perform, Thackeray said.

"An intimacy coordinator allows for consent and boundaries to exist within the space," he explained. "When the actor is given the opportunity to say 'no' if they do not feel comfortable with a certain touch or moment of the intimate scene, it gives greater weight when they actually do say 'yes'."

An intimacy coordinator seen helping stars coordinate a sex scene on the set of a TV drama (YUICHI YAMAZAKI/AFP via Getty Images)
An intimacy coordinator seen helping stars coordinate a sex scene on the set of a TV drama (YUICHI YAMAZAKI/AFP via Getty Images)

"In addition, an intimacy coordinator ensures that a closed set is in place when necessary," Thackeray continued. "This essentially means fewer people are watching or present when the scene is being shot.

"Taking the time and space to work on these scenes is crucial."

With that being said, Thackeray believes in taking 'timeouts' when necessary...such as in the event that an actor unwittingly becomes aroused.

Technically, they are at work - and getting a boner on the clock isn't exactly professional, even though it's involuntary.

Thackeray revealed how intimacy coordinators handle this situation while previously speaking to Backstage about the importance of his role on a film set.

He explained that if an actor becomes visibly turned on while shooting a sex scene, the best course of action is to take five.

Thackeray says it is best to take a break before giving the scene another go (Instagram/@dthackeray)
Thackeray says it is best to take a break before giving the scene another go (Instagram/@dthackeray)

"We call that a 'timeout'," Thackeray said. "Give them five minutes. Then I come in and check in. Then we come back into it when they’re ready.

"The worst thing you can do is carry on."

He also told Business Insider that as actors are 'going through the physical and the mind', it's not exactly outlandish if an actor becomes aroused.

Thackeray said he tries to make it 'really clear' that it is a 'normal' response for them to have to avoid making them feel even more uncomfortable than they already do.

He went on to say: "The worst thing we can do is gawk or make it a massive deal. I will say for the crew as well, making sure they're aware of what scene is being shot, what nudity is gonna be seen.

"You don't want them to be surprised."

Featured Image Credit: CBS Films

Topics: Sex and Relationships, TV and Film, Entertainment

Olivia Burke
Olivia Burke

Olivia is a journalist at LADbible Group with more than five years of experience and has worked for a number of top publishers, including News UK. She also enjoys writing food reviews (as well as the eating part). She is a stereotypical reality TV addict, but still finds time for a serious documentary.

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@livburke_

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