Sometimes you come across a story that's so utterly ludicrous, you wonder if there's any point in the human race being on the planet at all. This is one of those stories.
According to the Metro, doctors are now urging customers not to use Lush's recently launched aubergine-shaped bath bomb as a sex toy. We'll add this to this list of essential life lessons such as 'don't hold your hand over a lit hob' and 'don't drive with a blindfold on'.
It all started when someone tweeted in reaction to Lush's new range: "Okay but did Lush really think this through?
"There is gonna be at least one dumbass that tries to use that eggplant bath bomb as a dildo. Like come on. It's gonna happen."
Seriously though, we all know the aubergine emoji has been used time and again to indicate a penis, or alongside the squirt sign to signal for sex. But is it so overwhelmingly cheeky that some people might feel inclined to use anything that looks like it as a dildo?
Apparently the answer to that question is yes, as doctors have now warned women not to use the new aubergine and peach bath bombs as sex toys. There aren't enough facepalms in the world.
Dr Vanessa Mackay, spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, told the newspaper: "We would strongly discourage the use of bath bombs internally as these could disturb the fragile balance of good bacteria inside the vagina.
"This natural flora helps to protect the vagina and disrupting it could lead to irritation, inflammation and infection, such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush.
"Women are advised to use plain, unperfumed soaps to wash the area around the vagina (the vulva), not inside it, gently every day."
In other words, don't go shoving one of these no doubt heavily scented bath bombs inside of you - that means vagina, butt, mouth, ear or any other orifice that takes your fancy. Not only is there a risk of breakage, but they contain ingredients that can cause irritation or infection.
If you'd like to buy the items for their intended purpose (to make your bath smell lush) then you can grab them at any one of the Lush stores for £3.95 per piece.
Save the sex toys for Ann Summers. Or buy yourself an actual aubergine emoji sex toy.
Featured Image Credit: PA / Lush / Instagram
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