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Dating expert reveals there are seven 'money languages' that could destroy your relationship

Home> Lifestyle

Updated 14:04 17 Feb 2026 GMTPublished 14:03 17 Feb 2026 GMT

Dating expert reveals there are seven 'money languages' that could destroy your relationship

Money issues are one of the leading causes of relationships ending

Joe Harker

Joe Harker

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There are many reasons why a relationship might end, differences over money comes up as a very common cause.

According to research from Starling Bank, 74 percent of couples in the UK are speaking different 'money languages' which means they're on a different page about how to save and spend.

They've found these different styles are causing problems for 66 percent of couples and can end up slowing people down on the path to important milestones in life such as buying a house or feeling financially ready to start a family.

Dating expert Hayley Quinn and finance expert Ellie Austin-Williams have worked out what the seven 'money languages' are, how many Brits have them and which ones are most compatible.

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You can find out which group you belong to with Starling Bank's tool.

Couples that don't speak the same 'money language' could end up having more arguments (Getty Stock Photo)
Couples that don't speak the same 'money language' could end up having more arguments (Getty Stock Photo)

"I see first hand how many relationships struggle under the weight of different approaches to money, often leading to financial secrets and frustration," Hayley said.

"Most UK couples have a different money language, so rather than trying to fundamentally change your approach to money, the key is to understand and respect your partner’s."

They found 76 percent of British couples fight about money whether they're speaking a different language or not, but that rose as high as 97 percent for people speaking certain different 'money languages'.

"We save this much, we invest this much and eventually we'll be able to afford a mortgage." "That's so hot." (Getty Stock Photo)
"We save this much, we invest this much and eventually we'll be able to afford a mortgage." "That's so hot." (Getty Stock Photo)

Money know how

This type of person is an 'open book' when it comes to money and they know what they're talking about.

They're the one you know who is 'good with money' and knows how to save, spend and invest it to make the most from your earnings.

Basically, Martin Lewis would be really proud of you.

Unsurprisingly, this is the joint least stressful partner to be in a relationship with when it comes to money worries and make up about 23 percent of Brits.

They get along best with other people who know how to make money work for them, but they also vibe with people whose money language is 'acts of finance'.

Scarcity mindset

These are the folks who put some money away for a rainy day and like having a bit of cash in the bank.

Again, Martin Lewis would probably admire the way these people have managed their finances.

Spending money can make them 'feel uneasy and insecure', but these people struggle to treat themselves to some of the finer things in life even if they can afford it.

The experts warned this money language can sometimes 'get in the way of the life you want to lead'.

They're the people who would take a bus to the airport rather than a taxi and might struggle to get along with somebody who prefers to spend a bit more money on having a nicer and more comfortable time.

People with a 'scarcity mindset' are the most common in the UK at 32 percent, and they're joint least stressful to get along with in a relationship which sounds pretty good.

They vibe best in a relationship with people who think like them or those who prefer to communicate in 'acts of finance'.

People who don't want to talk about money even when it becomes an issue are the most stressful people to be with (Getty Stock Photo)
People who don't want to talk about money even when it becomes an issue are the most stressful people to be with (Getty Stock Photo)

Financial avoidance

The third most common financial language in the UK with 10 percent of Brits behaving like this, unfortunately this lot 'prefer to bury their head in the sand when it comes to finances'.

Unsurprisingly, they are the most stressful partners to be with when it comes to money as that giant financial elephant in the room goes unaddressed.

They 'spend or behave emotionally rather than rationally' and often don't even like checking their bank balance, which can be a recipe for financial disaster.

Part of the stress they have in relationships comes from making their partners feel 'shut out' or 'like they're walking on eggshells' whenever the topic of money comes up.

These guys get along best in relationships with people of the 'scarcity mindset' or the 'extravagant affirmation' type, while they really don't get on well with those who like 'acts of finance' as 97 percent of those couples argue about money.

Protecting privacy

Some people don't like talking about money not because they want to duck the subject but because they consider it a private matter.

These people keep their savings and finances a secret for others which is often 'driven by a desire for independence' or 'a fear that you could be taken advantage of'.

On the flipside this could end up being seen as 'distrustful', but it can manifest in good ways where they save up for a surprise to treat their nearest and dearest.

They make up nine percent of Brits and are the third most stressful type of person to get along with money-wise in a relationship.

As for their most compatible partners, they like other people who speak their money language (which is to say keeping shtum), or the 'money know how' types who know how to navigate modern finance.

"Five grand on a new motorbike. Is that a good idea?" (Getty Stock Photo)
"Five grand on a new motorbike. Is that a good idea?" (Getty Stock Photo)

Lifestyle enrichment

You only get one go at life and you can't take it with you, so you might as well enjoy it.

At least that's what the people whose money language is 'lifestyle enrichment' say, as they 'enjoy spending money on upping your lifestyle and enjoying every day'.

Among younger generations that can often be because the main things people are often trying to save up for like owning a home feel far out of reach, so if they're never going to afford it they might as well put the money towards having a nice time.

They make up seven percent of Brits but share the top spot for being the most stressful to be in a relationship with.

Despite their preference to spend money in the here and now they actually get along best with the 'money know how' and 'scarcity mindset' types.

They might have disagreements about money but if they can make it work they can bring out the best in each other to aim for the big goals while also remembering to have fun along the journey of life.

Extravagant affirmation

Even more than those who want to spend a bit more on enjoying life are the people who'd put Mansa Musa to shame.

These folks will spend lots of money on the people around them, even if they don't have very much of it to actually spend.

Unfortunately, the dating expert warned that while it looks like 'it's coming from a place of caring' it can also be a mask for 'an insecurity that you're not enough'.

Only two percent of Brits belong to this type, but they're the second most stressful type of person to be in a relationship with as they might spend money they don't have to satisfy their emotional needs.

This lot get along best with others of their kind, but they also like the 'money know how' types who they'd probably need to have a good handle on the finances and avoid bankrupting themselves in the hopes of spending their way to emotional affirmation.

Some couples are more likely to give each other gifts depending on their money language (Getty Stock Photo)
Some couples are more likely to give each other gifts depending on their money language (Getty Stock Photo)

Acts of finance

Nine percent of Brits belong to this group, and like those who communicate with 'extravagant affirmation' they use money to show people around them how much they care.

However, this lot are more careful with their cash and feel more like providers than benefactors.

They like to show their loved ones financial security and treat them from time to time and 'derive a lot of enjoyment from spending on others and showing them that you really care'.

This bunch are the fourth most stressful group to be in a relationship with, and they get along well with those who do 'extravagant affirmation' or the 'money know how' people.

It seems like a lot of people like the 'money know how' group, so maybe financial literacy is what a lot of people are looking for in a partner.

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Photo

Topics: Money, UK News, Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle

Joe Harker
Joe Harker

Joe graduated from the University of Salford with a degree in Journalism and worked for Reach before joining the LADbible Group. When not writing he enjoys the nerdier things in life like painting wargaming miniatures and chatting with other nerds on the internet. He's also spent a few years coaching fencing. Contact him via [email protected]

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