Swear words are arguably the best words in any language. They just feel good in your mouth.
When you want to really accentuate a point, you best throw in a 'fuck' or a 'shit'. It gives the whole sentence more 'oomph'. For example: "I could really do with a fuckload of bacon". Now, the person you're speaking to knows that only a small portion of bacon will not suffice. No less than half a pig will do.
Anyway, let's delve into the dark corners of history and find out where the fuck three of these fantastic words came from. Yes, that's right. Let's do some etymology up in this mother.
FUCK
Let's start with the best shall we? For some reason, loads of people believe that the word comes from an acronym of 'Fornicating Under the Consent of the King' aka F.U.C.K. because apparently in the middle ages you could only have sex if you had permission from royalty. Yes, this is as ridiculous as it sounds. And no, this isn't where the word comes from. Fuck as a swear word/word for banging only really started to be used in day-to-day language in the 15th century. So to any Monty Python fans, I'm sorry. The Holy Grail is not actually historically accurate when they shout "FUCK" or "FUCK OFF" at each other. I know, it's hard to hear. But they were comedians, not historians.
Before then, it meant to 'hit' someone. Which is still kind of relevant, in English gangster films people tend to say that they're going to 'fuck someone up' when they mean they'll 'beat them up'. However, some people believe it was used as a naughty word before then, but it was too rude to write down.
In 1373, there was a place called Fockynggroue in Bristol. According to Huffington Post's Kate Wiles (who has a Ph.D. in Medieval Studies so probably knows what she's on about) said: "This was shown in 2007 quite persuasively to be the earliest instance of fuck in English used to mean doing the funny downstairs business.
"It's a name akin to Lovegrove rather than one which uses the Old English personal name Focca which appears in the place-name Fockbury, or from Old English Folca as in Folkestone."
She goes on to explain that other earlier examples could have been referring to a naughty word and not 'hitting', however this example is the first (pretty much) conclusive example.
Jesse Sheidlower, author of The F-word (literally a whole book on the word 'fuck') said that he believes that the word came into English in the 15th century from possibly Low German, Frisian or Dutch.
So, in conclusion. We don't fucking know. There's loads of fucking theories, but who gives a flying fuck? It's the best fucking word to fucking use so fuck off.
SHIT
Okay, this is a bit more straightforward. It looks like it originated from Old English. 'Scitte' meant 'diarrhoea' and the verb 'Scītan' which meant to defecate.
Over time, it morphed into Middle English 'schītte' (excrement), 'schyt' (diarrhoea) and 'shiten' (to defecate).
CUNT
This is probably the naughtiest word of modern times. In fact, I had to ask my manager if I was even allowed to write it. It's still such a taboo. Which is kind of sad that it refers to a part of a woman that has a lot to do with the miracle of birth. So where does it come from?
Well, the actual origin is unsurprisingly subject to some debate. However, the majority believe that the word derived from a Germanic word, which appeared as kunta in Old Norse.
However, we also need to consider Latin. For example, 'cunnus' (meaning vulva) sounds suspiciously similar. There are other Latin words such as 'cuneus' (meaning 'wedge') and cunēre ('to fasten with a wedge').
In Middle English, cunt appeared under different spellings such as coynte, cunte and queynte.
So there you go, the origins of three of the best words ever.
Fucking brilliant.
Words by Mel fucking Ramsay
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Topics: swearing