Featured image credit: UK Safari
You know what, fuck spiders. Fuck them. Fuck their eight legs, and fuck all their eyes. Scary bastards.
It's not enough that there's loads of arachnids that are actually harmless, but still scary, there's a whole host of other 'false' ones that are swanning about just to fuck up everyone's day.
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Apparently, a spider called Zoropsis spinimana - more commonly known as the Spiny False Wolf-Spider - are on our shores, and coming into our fucking homes.
Credit: UK Safari
The frightening eight-legged freaks have sharp fangs and a powerful bite which can pierce human skin. British Wildlife magazine has warned people that the Mediterranean spiders are now being found in the UK.
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"This spider is large enough to be intimidating, and is one of the very few spiders in Europe that can penetrate human skin with their 'chelicarae' and produce a painful bite," the magazine said in its latest edition. "The size, appearance and house-dwelling preference of this species mean that it can hardly be overlooked."
Credit: UK Safari
It's still unexplained how the spider arrived in Britain, but there may actually be some benefits to having their intimidating presence in our homes, as chief executive of Buglife, Matt Shardlow told the Daily Express: "[It] may help control flies and other insects in your house."
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So far the species has been found in central London and East Grinstead, West Sussex.
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