Acting legend Dame Barbara Windsor has been moved into a residential care home as her Alzheimer's worsens.
Husband Scott Mitchell, 57, said he made the difficult decision after being told by doctors it was the best thing to do for the 82-year-old.
He told the Sun it's been hard getting used to not having her around.
He told the newspaper: "I have been used to hustle and bustle in this little space, then suddenly, silence... all you can hear are your thoughts, and that's not always healthy.
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"I feel I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. I walk around, trying to keep busy, then burst in to tears. It feels like a bereavement.
"It's always been my biggest fear, that one day I would have to take her somewhere and she'd be thinking, 'Why would he do this to me?' That fear has become a reality. It's something I never wanted."
To make the move easier on Barbara, Scott says doctors told him to tell her that she was going away for a few days, while they made some changes to her medication.
Opening up about the 'emotionally draining day' he took her to the care home, Scott added: "I tried to keep upbeat and composed, because I didn't want to distress her, but inside I was really hurting.
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"When I left, I'd driven about a quarter of a mile before I had tears streaming down my face.
"I'll never forget the feeling of emptiness.
"I felt sick in the pit of my stomach that I'd left her. I still feel like that."
To help her settle, Barbara will have a 24/7 carer with her for the first few weeks.
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Barbara was diagnosed with Alzheimer's six years ago, with her and Scott making the decision to tell the public in 2018.
In a recent appearance on The One Show, her on-screen EastEnders son Ross Kemp said: "Sadly during lockdown she had gotten a lot worse and Scott, her husband, is now having to think about finding alternative care for her because that is basically what happens with that disease.
"I think they decided once she got diagnosed they were not going to hide from it. They were going to make it as public as possible to create as much awareness as possible.
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"For a lot of people when they get that diagnosis they don't know what to do and I think someone like Dame Barbara talking about it has lifted again a lot of the stigma."
Featured Image Credit: PA