Credit: BBC
I've literally never watched an episode of Dragons' Den in my life because the idea of someone pitching an idea of something I'm almost certainly never going to buy or that probably won't get made in the first place to four/five? utterly despicable characters sounds like a terrible way to spend my time.
That said, it has spawned some good creations like *opens up Google*:
- Trunki- That ride-on hand luggage that you see kids skidding about on in the airport. This makes an already stressful experience needlessly more chaotic. Whoever approved this should have been sacked.
- Levi Roots- Ok, this is a 10/10 winner. Peter Jones and Richard Farleigh revolutionised eating plain rice at university when you've spaffed your entire loan on Vodka Red Bulls when they invested in this.
- Hungryhouse- Approved in 2007. A shitter Just Eat, essentially.
Credit: PA
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There are quite a few more but if you're a fan of the show you'll already know this, and if you're not then you're probably just as disinterested as I am.
But what about all the ideas that the self-titled 'dragons' (ffs) deemed not good enough to invest in?
Well, some of them have since made millions so fuck you BBC!
Tangle Teezer - Invented by a man from Grimsby called Shaun Pulfrey. Back in 2007 he was pretty much laughed out of the 'den' (ffs again, it's a fucking attic). Now, if you know a girl (what are they lol) you will no doubt have seen one of these lying about. According to The Mirror, Pulfrey's set to sell his business for a staggering £200 million.
Cup-a-Wine- The fact that this was rejected proves that old people have no idea what interests young people. Under 30? Want to get fucked on wine at a festival without having to smuggle an entire bottle past security? Well, there's literally a cup for that.
"People do not want to buy wine glasses like that," Duncan Banantyne barfed in 2009 when James Nash pitched this idea more eloquently than me.
In hindsight, Nash should have just gave the dragons a couple of cups each and asked them to enjoy their train home. Nash struck a deal for this product with M&S in 2012.
Credit: BBC
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Approved Food - In fairness, if I was sitting in my antique armchair on my wooden flooring thinking I knew everything there was about selling marketable products and a man walked in with out of date Quavers I'd probably remove him from the building myself before phoning Neighbourhood Watch.
Still, it appears that something that sounds like it belongs on the back of a lorry down at Southport market can actually make a huge profit.
Ex market traders Dan Cluderay and Andy Needham launched Approved Food as an online retailer and came as runners-up in the 2015 Virgin Media Pitch to Rich competition. This landed them a £100,000 marketing campaign. The Sun reports that they made a £4m turnover that year. £4 million, from selling food after its sell-by date. Now my battery powered clip-on dog collar cooling fan sounds like a no brainer.
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Summary - I was wrong. Some of the stuff on the show is actually quite good. Mainly alcohol and food based.
Words by Matthew Cooper
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