Psychologist shares five signs you're a people pleaser and it could be affecting you
As much as it's nice to be nice to other people there are times when you're going to come up against someone you just don't get along with.
It's alright not to vibe with someone but in your life you'll know not everyone has this approach.
Some people would rather try and make everyone around them happy whether that's justified or not, and in extreme cases people pleasers can even do damage to their own mental wellbeing while attempting to perk everyone else up.
According to the Washington Post, US based psychologist Dr Juli Fraga has laid out the five key signs that you're a people pleaser.
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You feel out of control in social situations
Dr Fraga said that when people see us in a negative light there can be an impulse to over-correct and try to make them all happy instead of just accepting the situation.
If we don't feel in control of how people see us or walk on metaphorical egg shells in ever conversation then it can lead to some embarrassing behaviour.
One of the major signals towards this is apologising for everything, particularly when things aren't actually your fault.
The psychologist brought up a former patient of hers as an example, saying they apologised whenever they asked a question of their boss as they 'didn't want to make them mad'.
Taking responsibility for someone else's feelings
Have you ever seen someone in a bad mood and worried it might be your fault, and therefore your responsibility to fix things?
If so that could be another sign that you're a people pleaser.
Even if it comes at your expense you'll find a way to make up for someone else's low mood, thinking it's your job to sort it out.
You agree with others to avoid conflict
We might all have done this at one point or another because an argument is just not worth the hassle, but if you're always doing it then it could be a sign.
When a relative tells you electric vehicles are a conspiracy to burn us all in our homes and you find yourself agreeing about the propaganda of 'Big Lithium' then you know things have gone a bit wrong.
Being a 'yes' man
Saying yes to things can be a positive and land you in some pretty interesting situations, but if you're just saying yes to everything it can be a big problem.
You might want to make others happy by agreeing with them and doing what they want you to, but if you're agreeing to take on tasks you can't handle then it's a huge problem.
There's nothing wrong with agreeing to help someone out but when you're saying yes to every request and you don't have time for yourself, you're doing yourself some damage.
You worry your feelings don't matter as much
Dr Fraga said that people pleasers can be saddled with the false belief that they shouldn't air their feelings to those around them.
Everyone needs to vent from time to time, and having a friendly ear to bend when unloading a bit can help heaps.
However, if you're the sort of person who will listen to others talk about their feelings all day long but never speak a word about yourself then that's an issue.
The doc said people pleasers can be worried that talking about their feelings 'will be a burden, or cause someone to abandon you'.
Topics: Mental Health
Joe Harker