Woman who believed she was a paedophile shares worrying thoughts rare condition caused

Warning: This article contains discussion of suicide which some readers may find distressing.

A woman who thought that an undiagnosed mental health condition meant that she was a genuine paedophile, has revealed some of the things she would ask herself.

Molly Lambert was just 15 when she started to have intrusive sexual and violent thoughts, as the then-teenager believed that she was a menace.

Believing that her 'life is over' at the time, she recalled seeing a little girl in a crop top, which made her think that it was 'weird for a child to wear', causing her to panic over noticing it in the first place.

Months in this state meant that she struggled to eat, sleep or be alone due to these obsessive thoughts.

Molly, 22, even changed jobs to avoid working around children, but when she came across a video about P-OCD, a type of OCD where a person experiences unwanted sexual thoughts or images about children, she got her condition checked out and was diagnosed with P-OCD (Paedophile-themed Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder).

She thought she was a 'monster' before being diagnosed (SWNS)

Now, Molly has opened up about her condition and aims to spread awareness about it - she even has a podcast where she discusses her intrusive thoughts and anxiety, called Intrusive.

Speaking in an August 2025 episode, she explained: "The worst part was, if you've experienced it, it goes on to everything.

"I remember one week I thought I was attracted to my dog and like, that's like funny now, and if you know me and I have a really dislike of dogs and I actually used to have a phobia of dogs - so that's how irrational it is."

Believing she could have had an attraction to anyone in her life, Molly admitted that she ended up feeling 'so guilty around people I loved' because they didn't know what was racing through her head.

She repeated some of the questions which would race through her head: "I thought, well, are they safe around me? Like am I going to do something? And have I done something before?"

Molly said that people that gave her comfort at the time, including the dog, was who her mind was 'turning into or do you find them attractive?'

"I never felt at peace anywhere because if I was the people that I loved, my brain was telling me that I found them attractive and I wanted to have sex with them," she added, admitting she wanted to 'hurt them' as being alone would make the situation worse.

She described it as a 'dead end', saying that she was 'at an end with life', where she contemplated taking her own life.

Molly highlighted: "I have mentioned this before, but I dread to think the amount of people that have had these thoughts and had thoughts of 'Am I paedophile? Am I a killer? Have I raped someone before? Would I want to rape someone?'"

Before having these thoughts, Molly admitted that she was already anxious (SWNS)

In her darkest times, Molly would 'miss my old self', though while she was anxious beforehand, the feelings would become 'relentless torturing of myself'.

"It took pretty much every form and every sexual thought I could have had about anyone in my life, like anyone that was that I shouldn't have," she candidly explained.

"I was having, you know, incest, bestiality," adding that she feels sick talking about it now.

Explaining how her thoughts worked, Molly said: "It flows along because I think I remember someone explaining it to me, you have a constant stream of thoughts, constant, constant, constant, constant, constant."

What is P-OCD?

According to Sheppard Pratt, P-OCD (Paedophile-themed Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) is a rare form of OCD in which a person exhibits an obsessive fear that they are or will become a paedophile.

Intrusive thoughts related to P-OCD can often include:

• Intrusive unwanted sexual thoughts about children
• Fear that positive emotions towards children is somehow sexual
• Fear that incidental contact with children is sexual
• Fear that noticing cuteness in a child could be perceived as sexual

The International OCD Foundation explained that some intrusive thoughts someone with P-OCD might have include: "Did I ever do anything inappropriately sexual when I was younger?”; “I should stand on the other side of the tube, away from this 6-year-old boy so that I don’t impulsively grope him"; “Will I be creepy or do something inappropriate when I have a baby?”

What is the difference between P-OCD and paedophilia disorder?

According to clinical psychologist, Federico Ferrarese, paedophilic disorder, as defined by the DSM-5, is 'recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviours involving sexual activity with prepubescent children' that has lasted six months.

Whereas P-OCD is the exact opposite, as those with the condition are horrified by their thoughts and will actively go out of their way to avoid triggering them.

International OCD Foundation adds that P-OCD is a disorder of 'anxiety and uncertainty' and that a person with the condition is 'no more likely to be a pedophile than an individual who does not have P-OCD'.

f you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, please don’t suffer alone. Call Samaritans for free on their anonymous 24-hour phone line on 116 123 or contact Harmless by visiting their website https://harmless.org.uk.

Alternatively, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is there to support you. They're open from 5pm–midnight, 365 days a year. Their national number is 0800 58 58 58 and they also have a webchat service if you're not comfortable talking on the phone.