Jake Massey
A pensioner rushed to save a washed up woman on a beach only to discover she was, in fact, a headless sex doll.
Chris Ford was looking for driftwood on Chesil Beach in Dorset on Sunday (6 February), but was given a fright when he spotted a mutilated body lying face down.
To his relief though, he realised on closer inspection that the disfigured woman was in fact a sex doll.
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The 67-year-old recalled: "It was a human-like figure but was too clean and too pretty - and it did not have a head. Apart from its lack of a face it was very anatomically correct. So as soon as I got to her I knew it was a sex doll.
"I am always out collecting driftwood after storms so I fully expected to see a human body one day but never this. It certainly made my day."
The retired photographer confirmed he left the doll where it was once he'd snapped a few pics, before a beach cleaner dumped it by the bins.
He said: "I just chuckled and found the whole things hilarious. I've seen dead cows, pieces of dolphin, seals etc wash up - but never anything like this.
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"It was a proper life-size doll and it looked like it had broken its shoulder joint as the right arm was bent back."
As for how it got there, Chris has a theory.
He said: "It just caught me by surprise, but we can only speculate where it came from.
"It is a busy shipping channel with loads of boats so it could have come from one of them.
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"Maybe a fisherman's wife found it in the cupboard and threw it overboard. It did not have a head - so maybe a perverted fisherman got rid of it but decided to clear it out and keep the head - I can only speculate why.
"We all had a proper giggle. She was certainly very pert indeed and I have tried to preserve her modesty in the pictures."
The find comes at the same time police confirmed that Chris' discovery of what he thought was a human arm was in fact a large mammal.
He said: "On 8 December in a storm I found what looked like a human forearm on the beach. It had five fingers which were longer than normal so I contacted the police. They came down and carried out forensics but they have just confirmed to me it was in fact a mammal.
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"That one took a bit longer to get to the bottom of than identifying the sex doll."
Anyone else looking forward to retirement?