Man Arrives Home From Glastonbury To Postcard He Sent Calling Himself A 'Fat, Bald P***k'

Look, festival season is in full swing, and we've all made questionable choices.

Some of us nearly spent £42 on a whole pizza, while others sent themselves abusive postcards, presumably, for the banter.

Doug Carter, 47, falls into the latter category, and he's quite the pen pal - it seems.

As the devoted dad from Bedworth, Warwickshire, explained to his friends on Facebook: "On Thursday night, me and the better half got to go out [to Glasto] without our lad and we got a little bit hammered.

"When I got back I was a little bit depressed but the minute I walked in I spotted a postcard on the floor.

"I wondered 'who's that off?' and then I noticed who that's off."

We'll give you one guess as to who the postcard was off.

If you said Doug, you'd be correct.

“I couldn't remember sending it at all until I read it and I had a flashback to writing it but until that moment I completely forgot," he continued.

Yep, Doug wrote a letter that'd rival romantic poets long gone and forgot all about it.

So, what did he send?

"Hi Doug, it’s Doug. I bet you're gutted you’re home you fat, bald prick. Love Doug.”

We imagine Hallmark is printing the message in their Valentine's cards as we speak.

Still, Doug wasn't disheartened by the fairly insulting message, as he went on to say: “It was one of these things that instantly perked me back up once I got back from Glastonbury. It really made my day.

“I loved the message I left, I’m a bit ruthless and do some stand-up comedy so I love a bit of a laugh.

“I’m always a bit of a silly lad that likes to see the funny in everyday life.”

As you can imagine, Doug's story has gone viral with people delighting in his drunken mishap.

One said: "I actually think this is my favourite Glasto story so far! Doug, I salute you!"

While another got philosophical: "That’s pretty close to interdimensional travel.

"There’s a theory that your Glastonbury festival self could accidentally meet your non-Glastonbury festival self, but it could be really quite dangerous and upset the entire time-space continuum. I’d say burn it to be on the safe side."

A third simply said: "Hammered Doug sounds a bit brutal."

That he does, but we'd still love to go to Glasto with him.