Shola Lee
Like something out of Finding Nemo, Michale Packard was swallowed by a whale and made it out alive.
While we can't imagine Packard pulled a Dory and spoke in whale to escape, he did 'f**king fly out' of the creatures mouth.
It all started on 11 June 2021 when Packard went out at sunrise and did two dives that went swimmingly.
However, it wasn't third time lucky for him because as the diver descended that last time he 'got slammed' by an unusual force.
He said: "And I just got slammed. Just like a freight train […] and then all of a sudden it went black. And water was just rushing, rushing around me, and black, and I could feel pressure on my whole body. And I was just moving through the water like wicked fast.
"And I'm like 'what the f**k'. And instantly I knew I was in a whale, not a shark […] and then my regulator fell out […] and I was like, 'I better grab that f--king thing'. And I put it back in my mouth. And I'm in there, and I'm trying to get out, and [the whale's] f**king freaking out."
Yep, not an ideal situation for a man who just wanted to catch a couple of crustaceans.
Packard went on to explain to Cape Cod Times that he thought he was done for: "And I'm thinking to myself, 'This is it, Michael. This is it. This is how you die'. And I was a 100% sure that […] I wouldn't get out of this situation. It was a done deal, and I thought about my kids and my wife."
However, in a stunning turn of events, and what honestly sounds like a description of a whale being sick: "All of a sudden [the whale] just got to the surface and he started shaking his head and getting all erratic […] and then boom! I f**king fly out of his mouth. And I'm like, 'Oh my god.'
"I'm floating, cuz my suit is like a dry suit and I didn't have time to deflate it when I was coming up, because the air expands, of course. So here I am … this big blimp on the surface. Thank god I kept breathing, so I didn't get the bends, or whatever."
The man had one final thought as he floated away: "And I was just looking up in the sky. I'm f**ked up, I know, but I think I'm going to live."
And live he did, but that's not the scariest thing that's happened to Packard.
As the man explains: "What haunts me more is my plane crash."
Yep, you heard that correctly, the man who was swallowed by a whale was also in a plane crash, and honestly, we'd love to see his insurance premiums.
So, what was the crash like I hear you ask? Horrific, and 'haunting' by the sounds of it.
Packard explained: "I sat in the jungle for three days […] punctured lung and four broken ribs, 180 stitches in my head, cut Achilles.
"I probably would have lasted another day, so I had a lot of time to think about my mortality, so that was definitely more PTSD than this."
If at this point you're thinking Packard must have a new perspective on life, you'd be wrong.
"I'm still the same old guy doing my same old s***."