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​You Can Now Get Christmas Wreath Nipple Covers

​You Can Now Get Christmas Wreath Nipple Covers

Everyone loves Christmas to some degree - even if it's literally just a few mouthfuls of pigs in blankets that do it for you before you revert to being the absolute Scrooge that you are.

But some people really love Christmas, so much so that they want it to envelop every fibre of their being... Including, believe it or not, their nipples.

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That's right, kids. Now you can get Christmas wreath nipple covers, just to really hit that festive vibe home.

That's right, because nothing says Christmas like a pair of wreath nipple covers. Credit: Boohoo
That's right, because nothing says Christmas like a pair of wreath nipple covers. Credit: Boohoo

Boohoo is selling the novelty nipple covers for just £4 (down from a fiver, would you believe?), meaning you could probably afford to get a few for all your mates, too.

The wreaths feature sparkly green and red pom poms, and even have two bells in the middle - because maybe even nipples should jingle all the way when it comes to Christmas.

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Boohoo recommends that you don't wear the nipple covers for more than eight hours, and that you should probably do a skin test 24 hours before you wear them. Nipples are pretty sensitive, remember.

Of course, there are many other ways of enjoying Christmas this year without sticking some mini wreaths on ya nipples. In fact, you should probably get into the festive spirit nice and early - as doing so apparently makes for happier people.

According to psychoanalyst Steve McKeown, those who get their Christmas on sooner rather than later are generally more excited by life, and that the nostalgia of getting all the decorations out takes us back to those care-free days when we were kids.

McKeown told Unilad: "Although there could be a number of symptomatic reasons why someone would want to obsessively put up decorations early, most commonly for nostalgic reasons either to relive the magic or to compensate for past neglect.

"In a world full of stress and anxiety people like to associate to things that make them happy and Christmas decorations evoke those strong feelings of their childhood.

"Decorations are simply an anchor or pathway to those old childhood magical emotions of excitement. So putting up those Christmas decorations early extend the excitement!"

All that festive nostalgia can also remind us of memories of loved ones no longer with us.

McKeown continued: "It may be a bittersweet feeling. Perhaps the holidays serve as a reminder of when a loved one was still alive. Or maybe looking at a Christmas tree reminds someone of what life was like when they still believed in Santa."

I mean, nipple covers are essentially just Christmas decorations for your body... Just sayin'.

Featured Image Credit: Boohoo

Topics: Christmas, News, Xmas

Jess Hardiman

Jess is a journalist at LADbible who graduated from Manchester University with a degree in Film Studies, English Language and Linguistics - indecisiveness at its finest, right there. She also works for FOODbible and its sister page Seitanists, which are both a safe haven for her to channel a love for homemade pasta, fennel and everything else in between. You can contact Jess at [email protected]

 

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