Come with me and you’ll be in a world where you’ll really have to use your imagination.
That’s what you’d probably have to do to make this Willy Wonka-inspired experience even feel remotely similar to the real thing anyway.
Police were recently called to an event promising to offer a ‘chocolate fantasy like never before’ where ‘dreams become reality' as the place fell into chaos.
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The ‘Willy’s Chocolate Experience’ has been slammed by visitors as ‘absolutely appalling’ and a ‘waste of money’ with the organisers since apologising for what went down.
But it wasn’t just parents who were disappointed by the Glasgow event.
The actors hired to work there have even come out and revealed they were just as surprised by the absolute ‘shambles’ they faced.
Cara Lewis says she was one of the performers hired for the event and claims they only received the script just two days in advance with one night to learn it.
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And then, she says on the day they were just ‘told to abandon it and improvise’ – by the looks of it, they really had to improvise.
The performer wrote on Facebook group ‘house of illuminati scam’: “Even we had been made to believe that this would be an incredible experience, however almost everything mentioned in the script wasn’t even there.”
Cara shared the script she says they were given into the group, promising a ‘good giggle’.
The whole event is led by ‘Willy McDuff’ as visitors are supposedly taken to the ‘Garden of Enchantment’ filled with ‘oversized, colourful flowers, twinkling lights and mysterious pathways’.
But the pictures shared by angry parents reveal it to be, well, not so enchanting at all.
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The script promises to take visitors into ‘wonderlands’ as they experience ‘whimsical turn of events’ and get to sample ‘magical drinks’ and sweets.
It also features cast members referred to as Wonkidoodles, who we can only assume are this show's version of Oompa-Loompas.
At one point the room 'transforms into a battlefield of lights and lasers' as McDuff faces off against a baddie called The Unknown, who is eventually 'swept up by a robotic vacuum'.
At the end, it anticipates how the audience would react with its final directions: “The guests erupt into applause, celebrating the triumph of creativity and courage over chaos.”
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Well, with the police called it does seem there was ‘chaos’ and I’d imagine visitors would really need to think with ‘creativity’ to imagine this place as it was described.
Fellow visitors commented on Cara’s post to call it a ‘comedy script’ as people reckon it’s ‘AI generated’.
A spokesperson from Police Scotland said officers were called to the event as it was abandoned and 'advice was given'.
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Organisers House of Illuminati said in a Facebook post later that evening: "Today has been a very stressful and frustrating day for many and for that we are truly sorry.
"Unfortunately last minute we were let down in many areas of our event and tried our best to continue on and push through and now realise we probably should have cancelled first thing this morning instead.
"We fully apologise for what has happened and will be giving full refunds to each and every person that purchased tickets."
LADbible has contacted House of Illuminati for further comment.
Jess Battison